


After Hours

by HyeHowAreYa



Series: The After Hours Multiverse [1]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Assassins & Hitmen, Eventual Smut, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, dark asf, have fun with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:07:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25821127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyeHowAreYa/pseuds/HyeHowAreYa
Summary: Illness isn't always physical
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry/Im Yeojin, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jeon Heejin & Kim Hyunjin, Jo Haseul/Viian Wong | ViVi, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Series: The After Hours Multiverse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110401
Comments: 8
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning, this book contains smut, gore, graphic violence, depression, suicidal thoughts and actions, drugs, and mentions of severe abuse, proceed with caution

"Hyejoo, you've been quite the trouble maker around these parts, haven't you?"

I knew this day would come, all of this would catch up to me, I knew I'd get caught one day. Well, I'm fucked. I guess I'll have fun in prison, or death sentence, I'm hoping for a death sentence. That would be a lot better.

"I'm gonna ask you some questions my dear, you're gonna answer them unless you think ending up locked away this young is a good plan?" The woman ominously circled around the table in the dark room, the room looked awfully like a questioning room with the light bulb hanging down over the table, and she looked awfully close to beating my ass for what I did. "Wait... You think there is a chance I'm innocent?" I questioned her, utterly dumb-founded she would even consider. "Not at all, I wouldn't have brought you here if I did. I'm not here to get you in trouble, I'm here to get you out of it. You are one of the most cold-hearted killers I've seen in quite some time, you do it with no consideration. So, tell me, do you get joy from it?"

What? She's here to help me? That's absolutely insane. "I guess, I get joy more out of the feeling of power, not out of the kill itself," I answered truthfully, still confused as to why this woman would ever help someone like me. "But here, let me just tell you this, I like you, Hyejoo. You're proficient, you don't waste time, you seem like a good shot, and you have plenty of years left to work for me." The woman said slyly, leaning on the table in front of me, waving her shoulder-length brown hair from her face. "All the details are in this paper, and you may ask any question you want, all are within limits."

I take my time to carefully read through it, but all are quite vague, so I ask her. "What does all of this mean? I live with you, I assist in the heists, you keep me safe, I keep you rich. But why me?" "Because you're broken, I like that there is clearly something wrong with your mind, that something leading you to be wicked and merciless." I raise my eyebrow, a little offended she would even say that. "You know nothing about me!" "Oh, my dear, I know plenty about you, but, it's clear as day, someone who murders their own parents isn't the healthiest individual." "You have no idea what they did to me!" I yell and stand up, kicking the chair behind me back, meeting this woman's gaze directly. "There is where my knowledge ends, but I will help you, I swear, whatever you've been through is behind you, and this is where it all ends for good."

I suppress the overwhelming need to strike this woman, she looks pretty strong and I'm not sure that would be a fight I'd win. "I don't want help, I want it never to be brought up again if you get to write a contract, I get to say if you fucking bring it up I swear to god I'm gonna kill you too." "Jesus Christ, calm down, if you never put Neosporin on a wound, it heals infected, Neosporin hurts, but it prevents infection. Talking about your issues hurts, but if you don't you're just gonna end up causing irreversible damage to yourself."

"I will not calm down! How could you say that?" I scream, clutching the edge of the table in my hands, trying my best not to cry. "Give it a chance, you're never gonna feel better about this without talking about it. But, if you'd like to rest this issue, please return to your seat." I nod, exhaling heavily, and sitting back down. "Now I'm gonna ask you some simple questions, they won't be too personal, I already know a lot of legal stuff. Can you answer some questions for me, dear?"

"I suppose so," I answer dryly. "You're fifteen right?" "Yes," "Sexual orientation?" "Why does that matter?" "I need to know I won't be having men around the house," "No you won't be worrying about that, I don't feel romantic interest." "Oh really? Are you asexual, or just haven't got there yet?" "That, I don't know, just everybody is horrible and I can't imagine spending time with anyone. May change, may not, that's why I don't have a label."

"Fair enough, just stay away from men, Hyejoo." "Oh, believe me, you're safe." Sooyoung nodded, "are you good working in teams?" "I don't know, I've never gone somewhere where people don't hate me automatically." "Well trust me, I think these girls will like you, they're all just like you. They were all just as lost and alone as you are, I can help you, sweetheart. You'll never have to worry." 

The brunette's offer sounded very tempting, after all, I'm gonna get arrested anyway if this woman wants to turn me in it wouldn't even matter. So that makes it even more tempting, "Just know, if you turn me in, I'm gonna kill myself before they get to me. I'm not going to prison." "Always good to be suspicious, but I assure you, that's not what's happening." 

"Alright, sure, why not? I'm never gonna last long alone anyway."


	2. Chapter 2

The silence that usually choked Hyejoo was quickly turned to the sound of yelling, screaming, and gunshots. There was no doubt in her mind she would live, there was no doubt in her mind Sooyoung would make sure of it, Sooyoung had raised her from the point of early adolescence to adulthood, which was neither good nor bad. Of course, there was the lavish decadency of the mansions and lifestyle, but there was also this. This being the crimes that they must commit.

Hyejoo started to doubt the sanity of the woman who raised her, as she valued money, power, and physical pleasure and comfort, over anything else. The number of people's heads who she blew away with no second thought. Well, Hyejoo was one to talk.

Hyejoo's job now was keeping watch over the hostages, as she heard Sooyoung, Yerim, and Heejin fighting off the authorities in the background. Her heart ached with the need to set the three people who laid on the floor, free. They did nothing, sure they were witnesses, but Sooyoung could always get away with crime, and the opulence insured that. She adjusts the mask covering her face, they all wore them, all skull masks they got at a Halloween store ages ago.

"It'll work out," Hyejoo whispers to herself. "You're unsure of yourself." One girl from the group sitting on the floor, "The fuck did you just say to me?" Hyejoo asked feeling quite annoyed. "You said it'll work out, meaning you're unsure." "Yeah, I get that I'm not an idiot-" "Then why are you here?" Hyejoo rolls her eyes, she looks a little closer at the blonde girl and sees she's wearing a name tag. "Okay Chaewon, You know I have a gun, right?" "Of course, I do." "Then you must have quite a death wish little lady. Be quiet, the gunfire makes my head hurt already, I don't need you making anything worse."

"Hey! We gotta get out of here, cops are biting our ass! Grab what you can carry!" Heejin yells, "I got you" Hyejoo yells sprinting to the main area of the bank trying to stay low, seeing the cop car stationed behind the glass, but as soon as she pops into view the bullets break the glass and it shatters everywhere, so she ducks back behind the wall. She grabs the gun from her belt and shoots the cops entering one by one, "Hye! We don't have all day!" Heejin yells, "I know you, idiot! I don't want to get shot!"

Hyejoo grabs two bags of money as she throws an explosive in the direction of the cops. She runs to the back of the bank, checking behind the counter where the hostages are, they shot one, but the spunky blonde girl Chaewon was it? was still alive. "Come on princess, you're coming with me." "W-what? You can't do that!" "The hell I can, now come're" Hyejoo grabs Chaewon's arm pulling her up, promptly cuffing her hands behind her back.

"What do you want from me?" "Hmm, not sure just yet, but if you don't wanna get shot I suggest you come with me. We don't leave witnesses behind and Heejin is gonna shoot all your little friends any second, so come with me unless you want to join them." "You're not gonna kill me?" "No, I like you. Don't know what it is." "That feeling is not mutual." "Well of course not, I'm essentially kidnapping you, Stockholm syndrome doesn't develop over-night."

"Hye you fucking idiot we gotta go!" Heejin screams, "We're all leaving, and you know we will gladly leave you behind." "Who are you kidding? I'm Soo's favorite." "Yeah, 'cause you're young." Hyejoo sprints forward to the back dragging the small girl with her, Heejin helps her into the car. "Who is this?" "Some blonde bitch, she's cute so I'm taking her." "If you say so."

Hyejoo pushes Chaewon into the back of the van, where Jinsoul and Sooyoung sit, "Hye, I was worried." Sooyoung began, immediately being shushed "Yeah whatever." "You aren't supposed to bring hostages with us." "Well, what do I do with her now? The cops won't shoot if we put her in front, they'd never fire at a cute little girl like her." "Good thinking."

Yerim sat herself in the driver's seat, and Jinsoul climbed to the passenger's seat, Heejin throws all the money into the van, and then throws herself inside, and Yerim takes off. "Get your guns ready, this won't be an easy escape." Sooyoung informs, "Especially since Hyejoo brought some girl with her." "Don't say my name!" "What? Are you worried you're gonna get too attached to this bitch so you can't use her as a shield?" "I don't get attached to people so easy. I couldn't care less about anyone."

"You say that now." "Listen guys we got some issues ahead," Yerim informs. "Jinsoul roll down your window." Hyejoo orders, she rolls it down pointing her gun out, and Hyejoo does the same, firing at the cops who fire back at them. "Cover your ears princess." She says to Chaewon sitting next to her. Jinsoul reels back screaming and cursing in pain. "She's hit! She's fucking hit!" Yerim screams, Hyejoo pulls Jinsoul out of her seat placing her next to Heejin so she can dress the wounds, Hyejoo climbs into the passenger seat shooting at the officers in front. "Step on it Yerim, plow through these mother fuckers." Heejin says and Yerim nods, flooring the gas and hitting several officers on the way. Blood covers the windshield, "Gimme the girl." Hyejoo says to which Sooyoung thrusts her into the passenger seat on Hyejoo's lap.

"Cover your ears again," Hyejoo says addressing Chaewon directly, she holds her in front as she shoots at the officers, the policemen being unable to fire back. Chaewon screamed and cried, hoping they would let her go, but Hyejoo didn't bat an eye, she was a little preoccupied at the moment. "Shot some more down, there are still many, and we gotta transition soon."

Another van pops into view. "Get everything ready we don't have a second to spare! Hye shoot as many as you can!" Sooyoung yells grabbing the bags of money and slinging the gun over her shoulder. Hyejoo keeps shooting, as Heejin throws open the door, it lined up with the other van, she jumps inside. Sooyoung throws her bags of money and supplies. They make a jump from one moving vehicle to another look easy. Sooyoung quickly helps Jinsoul in, "Hye, Cho, we gotta go." Sooyoung tells the girls in the front. "Leave that girl here Hye, she isn't coming home." "We can't just leave her in this car to die." "Uh, yeah we can, it's simple." "I'm not letting her die, Sooyoung." "Whatever just go." Hyejoo pulls the gun out of the window, grabbing Chaewon in her arms and going to the open part of the van.

She jumps backward taking the blow of landing on the metal off of Chaewon, before sitting her down in the corner. Sooyoung jumps in the car, followed by Yerim who does it quickly as not to be in the van when it loses control and crashes. Yerim closes the door of the van, "Only an hour trip until home," Jungeun informs them from the front seat.

"Jinsoul okay?" Yerim asks, "Yeah she'll be fine, it only grazed her." "We are gonna stop and split into two cars in about twenty minutes. Haseul drives one, I drive one." The twenty-minute car trip is problem-free, and silent besides Chaewon's small sniffles. As soon as they stop, Hyejoo grabs Chaewon's arms like she's going to go in Haseul's car, but pulls her aside. Hyejoo pulls out the keys of the handcuffs, "Listen to me, I'm going to give you these, but you have to get out of here unnoticed and fast. Run, do not stop whatever happens. Okay?" "Y-you're setting me free?" "Yes, did you actually think I would kidnap you for real?" "Yes. I thought I was never going to see my family again; I was really scared..."

"Well there you go, now run and run fast, don't let anyone see you." Hyejoo hands her the handcuff key, Chaewon cups it in her hands, "Go." "Wait." Hyejoo rolls her eyes at the interruption "Every second we stand here talking the more trouble the both of us coul-" "Thank you. You know you're too good to be robbing banks." "Fuck off Chaewon." Chaewon's face falls, "Bye." she says before she turns and sneaks out of the view of the others then starts bolting.

"Bye, princess."


	3. Chapter 3

The night after the robbery

Hyejoo wakes up to an extreme pulsating ache in her temples, it seemed to be everywhere. She squeezes her eyes closed as the light coming in through the curtain hits them, making the pain in her head hurt even worse. She rolls over pressing her face into the pillow, but immediately upon moving she feels the overwhelming nauseous feeling in her stomach. She forces herself up, nearly tripping over herself as she stumbled to the bathroom, holding the edge of the counter in her hands, averting her eyes from her reflection. That was always the worst part of this lifestyle, having to look at yourself in the morning.

It's all Sooyoung's fault, that's what she would like to think anyway. If it were up to her she wouldn't ever leave the house, but Sooyoung always had to have those damn parties. They weren't normal ones, they were ones held by those rich psychopaths like herself, Sooyoung had money, she did those heists for the rush of it, not the money. Hyejoo didn't know how Sooyoung gained such wealth nor did she care to ask.

They were always held at mansions, somewhere far off the grid, so anyone could do whatever they wanted to. She always followed Sooyoung's rules though, do not let yourself pass out if you don't have someone to watch you, don't sleep with people you don't know, and don't take or drink anything if you don't know exactly what it is. Which is smart, Hyejoo didn't plan on doing anything on the list, losing yourself in an unknown substance wasn't her thing. It isn't as fun as Jinsoul and Jungeun claim it is. She didn't like people either, she found herself clinging to Heejin the whole time, as Jinsoul and Jungeun drank, Yerim and Haseul made friends, and Sooyoung was probably in some back room fucking someone, Heejin seemed to be the only one with any sense. So, sitting on a couch in the basement with a bunch of other outcasts not doing anything worse than weed was her ideal of a good time, but of course, last night that didn't happen.

Last night, was a lot easier than going to a party, her and her housemates celebrated another successful robbery. Hyejoo drank a bit more for that one girl she saved, she didn't know why but that girl didn't leave her head as easily as she thought it would. She hoped the girl got home safely, hoped she wasn't too scared after what happened.

Hyejoo was a little annoyed she got attached to some random girl who Heejin probably should have just shot. Why did she set that girl free anyway? Why was she so important? Hyejoo couldn't finish asking herself that before the nausea caught up with her, and she emptied what little content was in her stomach in the sink. "Shit." She whispers, she turns on the faucet rinsing the vomit down the drain, as soon as it's relatively clean she cups some water in her hands and splashes her face with it. The cool water makes her head feel a bit better, but not by much.

She quickly walks from the bathroom to the door that leads to the hallway, the hallways were painted bright white, with little to no texture on anything, painful to the eyes, and overly dull and plain, but Sooyoung liked it that way. Luckily her room was not stark white and empty in fact she kept it rather dark and filled clutter, it was nearly the opposite of the rest of the house. "Hi Hyejoo, good morning." She hears a voice from the room across hers, she peaks her head around the door frame meeting Jiwoo's gaze, "I heard you throwing up, are you okay?" Jiwoo was Sooyoung's personal "servant", or as Hyejoo would describe it, Sooyoung's prostitute that lived with them. Jiwoo did not seem like that kind of person, and is always overwhelmingly sweet, and she wondered how such a nice girl could end up in such a position. "I'm alright, just so fucking hungover I don't know why I keep doing this to myself."

Jiwoo laughs, "Yeah I don't really get it, I get weird and emotional when I drink." "I know, it's a little scary." "You should talk." "I'm weird and emotional all the time, I have no idea what you're talking about. Drinking makes me more level headed than not." "No, that's the weed, weed makes you normal, drinking makes you scary." "Whatever you say."

Hyejoo walks down the hallway turning to the stairs that lead to the entryway, then walking to the kitchen where Sooyoung already sits behind the counter. "Morning sweetie," Sooyoung says in greeting, "It's two pm." Hyejoo says pointing at the stove clock, "Just because you're hungover gives you no right to be a smartass." Sooyoung says handing Hyejoo a water bottle, "Where's everyone else?" "Still asleep, I guess. Jungeun and Jinsoul are probably busy," "I didn't hear anything and they're in the next room over." "You have like the worst room." "Yeah, I'm sandwiched in between theirs and yours, and it fucking sucks."

Sooyoung snickers, "You know, you don't always have to be alone at night. You're with me, you can easily find someone." "I don't like people Sooyoung, you know that," "There doesn't have to be feelings involved." "So, you're saying I need a Jiwoo?" "Vaguely, yes," "I don't want a Jiwoo, I don't want anyone at all, in any way." "You're too young to understand." Hyejoo rolls her eyes, "Look, when I was younger I never felt attracted to anyone, I thought any kind of love was gross, but I changed." Sooyoung says, "You seriously never felt attracted to anyone?" Sooyoung continues. Hyejoo shook her head, but for some reason her mind felt it had a different idea, the image of that girl from last night comes to mind, but Hyejoo quickly suppresses it. "I mean, I know you have issues regarding..." "Shut up we don't talk about that, remember?" "I really think you should talk about it more." "Not going to happen, and I'm serious, don't bring it up or I will lose my fucking shit." "Well, maybe you won't if you talked to someone about it, it will only get worse the more you hold it in."

Hyejoo slams the glass of water on the counter nearly hard enough to break it, jumps off her seat, and walks upstairs. Being sure to ignore Jiwoo and slamming her door so it raddles in its frame. She didn't know why Sooyoung thought it was so important to bring up past issues, they were perfectly fine in the past, they didn't affect her now, did they? All of her issues were because of Sooyoung, not her past, wait, no, she didn't have any issues, she was fine. The overwhelming anger that takes over her body from time to time was normal, covering the bathroom mirror with a towel when she showered was also normal, hating everyone without prior prompt completely and utterly normal.

She flopped down on the bed, not sure if she was going to cry, break something, or both. God, she hated feeling like this, when your emotions grab you by the neck and bend you to their will. Well, now she felt angry about that too, it was an endless loop of just being angry all the time. She heard a knock on the door, "If you heard me slam the door, anyone with half a brain should know by now I do NOT want to talk." Hyejoo yelled to the person on the other side.

Sooyoung walked in anyway, sitting on the bed. "I know you don't want to talk, I shouldn't have made you uncomfortable," "Go away, I don't want an apology I want silence, complete silence, I do not feel good today, so leave me alone." Sooyoung can hear a crack in the youngers voice, as she sniffled slightly, "I didn't mean to make you cry Hyejoo, I'm really sorry, I just wanted to help you feel better." "You did a great job." Hyejoo rolls over covering her face with her arms and the pillow, "I feel really bad, that was really shitty of me." "Oh my god, take the hint and leave me alone you fucking idiot, I don't want an apology, I told you that several times. Go away." By now, Sooyoung was done with this, she rolled her eyes and glared at Hyejoo.

"Okay, you know what?" Sooyoung's tone change catches Hyejoo's attention and she sits up and looks at Sooyoung. "It's not my fault what happened to you, it's not my responsibility, you're a big girl, and yet you're having a fucking tantrum. It's getting really annoying, it's horrible what happened, but you have to grow up at some point, and all I'm trying to do is say that I'm sorry, and you keep insulting me. Sure, I'll leave you alone, but you only say you want me to for attention, you're such a fucking brat you know that?" Hyejoo stares at Sooyoung in awe, "Do not insult me after everything I've done for you, I don't have to let you stay here, I don't have to take care of you, I do it because I love you, but even if I do, you're so fucking annoying."

"Y-you mean that?" "Of course, I do!" "Oh..." Hyejoo says closing her eyes, and letting the tears fall down her face, that was the first time Sooyoung had ever spoken to her in such a manner, and Hyejoo felt her heart ache, and for the first time, she didn't feel angry, just hurt. Sooyoung feels a bit bad as well, wishing she kept about half of what she said in her head. Hyejoo covers her face with her hands, letting the tears fall down freely now, not holding them back. Nobody had ever really hurt her feelings like this before, and she felt like an idiot for reacting this way, but it was all she could do.

Sooyoung knew the reaction was genuine, you couldn't fake that, this wasn't her normal overdramatic behavior, it was real. Sooyoung felt like she'd just been stabbed, of course she meant what she said, but she thought Hyejoo wouldn't take it like this. She expected Hyejoo to scream at her and insult her back, not this. Sooyoung sits up and walks over to the side of the bed Hyejoo was sat on wrapping her in a hug, gently stroking her hair. It takes a second for Hyejoo to return it. "I-I'm sorry." She says muffled by Sooyoung's shoulder. "It's okay sweetie," "Don't be mad." "I'm not anymore, you just have to try to stop pushing me away when I try to help, you know I just want you to be happy. I shouldn't have been so harsh though." "No, I think I needed to hear that."

"Not gonna lie, acting out was cute at first but it got out of hand." "It was cute?" "Yeah, no kid is perfect and well behaved all the time, I know that." "I'm not a kid," "Then what the fuck was all that?" "Uhm." "Exactly," Sooyoung pulls out of the hug, and kisses Hyejoo's forehead, "You want some breakfast?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chaewon awoke to the sound of knocking on her bedroom door, it'd been nearly a month since the bank robbery incident, and she'd never left the house because she'd have to watch her back every time. That woman in the mask who saved her brought her comfort though, she hoped maybe someday they could meet again, and she could say her thanks. "What?" Chaewon said, annoyed to be woken up, "We gotta get up and go to the shop, remember? I made an appointment at that tattoo shop and you're coming with me because you're too scared to be alone in the house." Wooseok said, sounding a bit annoyed as well. He was her roommate and close friend, they spent a lot of time together, especially since Chaewon got nervous leaving the house alone.

Chaewon groaned peeling herself from her bed, dramatically sliding onto the floor first before standing. She got ready slowly and angrily, she didn't want to leave, she didn't see a reason she should if she wasn't traumatized. She threw on a hoodie, shorts, and knee-high socks, and called it a day. She lazily slicked back her somewhat fried hair into a messy bun. She walked out of her room, and slid her shoes on, waiting for Wooseok to join her by the doorway. "Ready?" He asked, "Yeah, let's go." She answered groggily, she'd probably sleep in the waiting room. Even if those waiting room chairs are awful, she'd find a way to sleep in them, she always did. 

She followed closely behind Wooseok as they walked on the sidewalk, walking past all the townhouses and small shops she'd never paid any mind to. It was early autumn which was the perfect temperature, it was dry, a little cold, but no snow, and that was quite appealing for two people without a car or money to pay for one. She constantly kept an eye out, she wasn't even harmed during the whole ordeal, but she was so close so many times, it was the most stressful thing she's ever experienced, and due to that woman that saved her. she lived to be traumatized by it. She was awfully curious about what she'd look like without the mask, what was she like in a situation more relaxed, she couldn't stop wondering, and she was scared it would become an obsession trying to find this girl again.

Wooseok stopped her, "Yoohoo, you were zoning out again, we're here," "Oh okay, thanks..." She trailed off taking one look through the window at the woman at the front desk. She was kind of what she expected the girl from the robbery would look like. God, she was hot. "Chaewon, stop spacing out, yeah she's a pretty girl, chill out." "S-sorry." She hesitantly continued in through the door, immediately shrinking behind Wooseok out of shyness, she swore her heart skipped a beat when she saw this woman, and that was not a normal thing that happened to her. 

"Hey, dude, you got an appointment?" That voice... It was so familiar. She listened closely to the woman's voice as she and Wooseok had a brief conversation. "Yerim, we got a customer," The very similar lazy speech, the sound of it, the speech pattern, everything about it was the same as the girl with the mask from the robbery, and she was sure she was going insane because of it. Wooseok soon went off with who she assumed was Yerim to sit in one of the booths, and then Chaewon was left without a shield. But strangely enough, the woman gasped and took a step back when she looked at her face. "You're... Uh, Chaewon, from that night..." She said in a hushed tone, leaning over the counter. "Y-You remember?" "Yes, of course, I do. You look a lot better when you aren't crying," She said with a laugh. 

"Wait that means... You're..." "Yeah, that's me. Don't say anything about it, bad things could happen if you did." "Of course," Now that she had the right to truly study her in full, she did. Her long black hair that faded into a dark green at the tips, looking relatively messy, but so effortlessly cool at the same time. Prominent, black and grey tattoos ran up her arms, many of them, although it'd be hard to work at a tattoo shop and not have any. She wore a loose plain white T-shirt rolled up at the sleeves, and a tiny black stud sticking from her nose. She was poster-child Chaewon's type, it was almost unremarkable how she just seemed like someone only Chaewon could have dreamed of. 

She could tell she'd stared a bit too long, so in bleak effort to save herself she said, "I like your tattoos." "Oh thanks, sweetheart," Hyejoo smiled resting her chin on her palm and propping her head on the table. "Is that your boyfriend over there?" She asked, "Oh, no he's my friend." "Yeah sure," She said unconvinced. "No, I swear he's not, I don't like boys." Hyejoo laughed a little, "That's cute." "What do you mean?" Chaewon asked defensively, trying to ignore her face heating. "I said that's cute, I believe you, you're just cute," She said laughing quietly.

"Oh..." She says, covering her cheeks with her hoodie sleeves, trying to act natural by propping her face up on her hands. "Thanks." She says with a nervous laugh, "You wanna go sit down in those shitty chairs over there?" "Oh, uh yeah" Hyejoo walked over to the double seat and sat down waiting for Chaewon to join her, sneaking her arm on the back of the seat around Chaewon. "Where do you work?" "The coffee shop down the road," "Oh yeah, that's really close, maybe I'll have to come see you," She said smiling knowing Chaewon would get shy at the remark. "O-oh, sure..." The blonde said, doing exactly as expected and shrinking back slightly. 

"I don't even drink coffee, but I'd totally go there for you," Wow, okay. "O-oh, thanks, that'd be nice. Please don't tell me you do this with every person that comes in here." She says immediately regretting how creepy she sounds. "No, just the pretty ones I nearly cause the death of." Chaewon nervously giggles again, feeling so awkwardly unable to hide her feelings. "How many girls do you get this shy around?" Hyejoo continued with a smirk. "I-I'm not... I'm fine." "Oh really? I don't think so." But to every shy, nervous shrink, Hyejoo just smiled, seemingly enjoying the state she put Chaewon in, getting some sort of satisfaction from the other's awestruck reactions. 

But of course, Chaewon at this point was just convinced this wasn't real, that it was a dream or something, no way this could ever happen. First of all, the fact this woman could even exist in reality was jarring, and that she would ever show enough interest to flirt with her is straight-up lunacy. How could any of this possibly happen to someone like Chaewon? Being involved in a robbery was enough, but the fact that the person she always dreamed of meeting, looked and acted like this? She was sure she was losing her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! She fucking asked me out, Wooseok what do I do?" Chaewon screeched at her friend, who sat on the couch with her, trying to shut out the obsessive rambling. "I'm so nervous! But excited! But scared! But happy! How do I deal with it?" she said in a similar tone, waiting for the brown-haired man to answer, tugging on his sleeve to accentuate her point. "First of all, calm down, you're kind of losing it. Honestly can't tell if you're laughing or crying anymore, so just take it down to a two." "N-no I can't! She-she's so fucking hot, I don't know what to do!" "I know, I know, you just gotta try to calm down, breathe, in and out, in and out." He soothed, trying to stop his friend from freaking out. 

Every time she tried to breathe in she couldn't because she'd just think about Hyejoo calling her cute and giggled uncontrollably, he smiled, happy that Chaewon was happy, but also upset that that was all she would talk about for the next year or so. Luckily for Chaewon, Hyejoo asked for her number, and said she'd call when she wasn't busy. "I-I'm sorry! I just can't stop!" "Hey, I gotta go to work, okay? You'll be fine without me?" "Yeah, I'll be okay." Wooseok stood, grabbed his phone and his backpack, and headed out the door, leaving Chaewon on her own. 

She eagerly stood and made herself a bowl of cereal. Pouring the cereal in the bowl trying not to spill with her shakey hands, and then the milk having similar struggles. She ate her frosted flakes trying not to tremble as she just couldn't help it, her nerves and excitement got the best of her. She wasn't sure how she'd deal with this, besides just dancing around the house, leaving the cereal forgotten, hoping at some point she'd crash from this new energy and finally sleep.

That whole turn of events had her shaken. That someone like Hyejoo could find someone like Chaewon interesting. Or as Hyejoo thought, someone as pure as Chaewon could fine someone like Hyejoo not wicked. Chaewon was probably the most morally sensitive person in the world, she'd cry if she stepped on a lady bug, but always envied people who could do bad stuff, of course, she was talking about vandalism, or maybe taking a candy bar from a gas station. Not robbing a bank and shooting countless officers. But for whatever reason she was able to overlook the dangerous, sociopathic, murderer aspect of the girl she fell for, and only really focused on how good she looked, or how she was the reason Chaewon was still alive. That girl was her hero, the reason she was still kicking.

Even so, the closest thing she got to that lifestyle was staying up until four AM watching true crime shows. Until she found herself inside one of said episodes. Now they all felt kind of lack luster compared to having a real gun pointed to her head, well, to be fair, she'd let that girl threaten her with death any day, or every day, her schedule was open. The edge of death was thrilling, obviously she'd never, ever, want to go through that again. But it was a learning experience none the less. 

She was so bored all day at work, that day moved so slow, like honey dripping off a spoon, but not pretty or good on toast, just painfully uneventful. It was about clock out time, she grabbed all her stuff and got ready. Just as she walked from behind the counter, throwing her backpack over her shoulder, but gasped and took a step back looking at the girl who opened the door. "Oh hi, princess? Are you about to leave?" Hyejoo said, looking at the girl about to walk home. 

"O-oh, Hi!" Chaewon said, a smile forming on her face, genuinely excited to see Hyejoo walk through the door. "Enthusiastic are we?" "S-sorry." She said, covering her face again, trying not to show Hyejoo her complexion growing in shades of pink every second. "I know you walked to Sooyoung's shop, so do you want me to drive you home?" "Oh, yes please!" She said a little too loudly, before covering her mouth in embarrassment. "Cute." Hyejoo murmured to herself, grabbing Chaewon's hand and leading her out of the door.

Hyejoo unlocked her car parked on the side of the street with the others. That car was suspiciously nice for someone who needed to rob banks, there had to be more going on. Even working at the tattoo shop couldn't give you that much money. "Who's car is this?" She asked without thinking. "Sooyoung's, no she didn't steal it." "How do did she-" "I don't know, I was told not to ask, she just has money, nobody knows how. It's probably something shadey, but again, I can't ask." "Oh, alright." Chaewon said, feeling a bit uneasy about that whole thing, but took Hyejoo's word for it, now that she'd been saved by that girl, she trusted her. Hopefully she wasn't wrong for doing so.

She climbed into the passenger seat next to Hyejoo who sat in the other, who was tapping her finger against the steering wheel as she shut the door and shut the car door. The song started playing, as the opening rift of Hole's Celebrity Skin began. (Celebrity Skin is such a good song, please listen to it) Hyejoo hummed quietly as she asked Chaewon about where to go, following the directions carefully, keeping one hand on the wheel, slowly edging the other hand toward Chaewon's thigh. Making the blonde girl blush again, when her hand touched her leg. Hyejoo paying no mind, treating it like it was nothing, but Chaewon resisted panicking the entire time.

"You okay over there?" Hyejoo teased, squeezing Chaewon's thigh. "Y-yeah, absolutely fine..." "I don't think so," "T-totally fine..." "Alright then," Hyejoo said laughing to herself, as she pat Chaewon's leg again. "H-hey it's right there." The blonde said pointing at her and Wooseok's apartment. "Oh alright." Hyejoo said, pulling to the side of the road, and parking. Chaewon waited for Hyejoo to get out starting an awkward silence where nobody got out. "You gonna go inside, princess?" "O-oh, I thought you were coming with me, that was uh, stupid for me to assume." Chaewon said covering her face again, "Oh, I didn't know if you wanted that." "Well, you're welcome to come in if you want." 

"Yeah totally," Hyejoo said getting out of the car, quickly followed by Chaewon, the blonde got the keys out of her backpack and walking up the steps. She stepped inside her main room, the small kitchen shoved in the corner, a couch and a tv in the middle, three doors, two on one side, one on the other. Chaewon led Hyejoo to the singular door, which was the door to her room. Hyejoo followed Chaewon inside, and watched the adorable girl sit on the bed, nervously looking at Hyejoo as she scanned her room. The pale purple bedding, numerous stuffed animals covering nearly every surface in the room, how cozy and the coordinated pastels matched everything perfectly. 

Hyejoo smiled, there was something so comforting about this girl, something that felt like the childhood and love she never had before, she felt more completed when they were together. "You're so cute, Chaewon," Chaewon grinned at the compliment, "You say that a lot," "I can't help it, I mean, you're just so cute I don't know what else to say really." Hyejoo and her black clothes, dark makeup, and tattoos, looked so out of place in a room like this, but she didn't feel out of place, she fit in wherever Chaewon was, and it felt good to have someone be so infatuated with her very existence. 

Chaewon flopped down on her bed, and Hyejoo sat down next to her, "So..." Hyejoo began, "I don't know, you wanna watch something?" "Sure," "What do you wanna watch?" "Anything you do, I don't mind." Chaewon sat up and walked toward her desk, setting her backpack and jacket on her desk chair, then grabbed her laptop from it, setting up the show they'd watch. She set it down and climbed into her bed, patting the spot next to her, letting Hyejoo lay next to her but on top of the blankets. 

She noticed Chaewon's hesitance to lay her head down on her shoulder, so she gently moved Chaewon's head to be resting on her shoulder. Then Hyejoo leaned her head against the top of the blonde girl's, who was blushing again. Chaewon pressed play, this show was something about families raising kittens from infants to being old enough to sell to other families, Hyejoo smiled again, not being surprised this was Chaewon's ideal entertainment. They watched a couple of episodes, before Hyejoo checked the time and realized Sooyoung was probably worrying about her. 

"Chae?" "Yeah?" "I gotta go, babe, see ya... Soon, maybe." She said crawling out of Chaewon's bed, as Chaewon got up to walk her out. "I hope I see you too," They both stepped onto the deck, "Wait, can I have a hug?" Chaewon asked without thinking much, "Oh yeah, of course." Hyejoo said turning around and wrapping her arms around the smaller girl. She pulled back slightly and pinch Chaewon's cheek, offering her one last smile before she left, dialing Sooyoung to tell her not to worry.

As soon as Chaewon stepped back inside it was back to the overly joyful excited bouncing around the house, she hadn't felt this way since she was a kid almost, she truthfully hadn't been this excited about life in general until now. 

"Hyejoo, what the fuck? Seriously I was so scared someone might have caught you, why would you be out so late without telling me?" Sooyoung said sternly over the phone, as Hyejoo balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear as she drove. "I said I was sorry, but I had a reason." "That being?" "I think I like someone." "Oh..." Sooyoung's tone changed completely with that, and she could practically hear the smile through the phone. "Oh my god! What's her name? Who is she? This is so exciting!" "Her name is Chaewon, and she's the girl from the robbery night, the girl I saved, I know you're gonna be mad, I know you think she's gonna tell someone, but she won't, I trust her." "That girl? The small one with the bleached hair? Oh, she's cute, and after you saved her life she probably wouldn't tell. I'd still be careful who you trust, Hyejoo,"

"I know, I know, I know, but I swear it's fine," "I'm so happy for you, I know these things can be hard with you're situat-" "Shut up," "I didn't mean that, I meant working for me," "Yeah it is pretty hard, but she's uh, really into me, so I don't think anything I could do could change her mind." "Oh, she'd like you after all that?" "Apparently, I don't get it either." "Huh, well, get home as soon as you can, love you," "Love you too," "Bye" "Bye."


	6. Chapter 6

"No, Sooyoung, I don't want to help set up your stupid party!" Hyejoo yelled from the safety of her bed to Sooyoung who was setting things up downstairs. "Ugh! Come on! Just because you have a girlfriend now you're too cool to help me?" "She's not my-" "Hyejoo, you have a girlfriend?" Yerim yelled from her room, Hyejoo rolled her eyes and sighed hearing the pitter-patter of what she assumed was Yerim and Heejin's feet down the hall to her room. "Sooyoung, I hate you," Hyejoo grumbled, laying down on her bed.

"Okay, if you're doing something weird in there tell me now," Heejin warned, "Shut the fuck up, that was one time." "One time is too many." "Agreed, but seriously, everything's fine, by all means, ask WAY too many questions about a girl I'm not even dating yet." Heejin opened the door, "Don't downplay it, Hyejoo," Yerim said skipping toward the bed in the middle of the room with a big smile on her face as always, "Tell us everything!" Yerim exclaimed, sitting down next to Hyejoo as she pressed the youngest for information.

"Uhh, well her name is Chaeyeon from the robbery. You know, the one who escaped, but really I just let her go." "YOU DID WHA-" Heejin began, "Shut it, I already got the two-hour-long lecture from Sooyoung," "How could you possibly think that the girl who could get us all caught would be a good partner?" "I don't know, see, this is why I didn't want to tell you, you have to understand, I know how insane and stupid this seems. But I trust her not to say anything, you both had the same concerns with Hyunjin and Yeojin, you both trusted them, it worked out." "I don't like Yeojin romantically, she's my friend." Yerim pointed out, "Yeah right, and, what does it matter even if you didn't, she still could tell someone."

"I guess you're right, just be careful, alright?" Heejin said, "How did you meet again?" Yerim asked Hyejoo, "She was there with her friend at the tattoo shop a couple days ago, his appointment was with you," "Oh yeah I remember her better now, you guys sure did talk a lot, and then you went out without telling us where you were going, was that to her?" "Yes, I drove her home from the coffee shop and we sat in bed and watched tv." "Oooh, yall sat in bed together?" Yerim asked, acting as if she was prying her friend for school drama, getting a little bit too into the whole story. 

"Yeah, so?" "So? That's like 2½ base!" "What's 2½ base?" "The one between getting to know each other and fucking," "Oh... I should have, uh, assumed that." "Hey! You three! Get down here and help me before I start taking shit away!" Sooyoung yelled, the three looked at each other seriously knowing so many of their prized objects Sooyoung wouldn't hesitate to confiscate. They scrambled down the stairs, ready to help Sooyoung whether they wanted to or not, knowing there was no choice in a matter like this. "There you go, Heejin, go drunk-people-proof the kitchen, Yerim, go buy stuff with Jinsoul and Jungeun, and Hyejoo go make sure there is nothing weird in the downstairs bedrooms." "Why do I have to clean the drug rooms?" "They aren't just drug rooms, people have sex in them too, now chop chop, don't want me to take your Xbox away now do you?" 

Hyejoo groaned, stepping toward the rooms in defeat. As Heejin and Yerim paused to talk together as Sooyoung left to go work on something outside. "You wanna be good big sisters?" Yerim asked, "I guess." "We should get a hold of that Chaewon girl and get her here," "Won't Hyejoo hate that?" "Not if she doesn't know we did it." "Okay well, how do we find her?" "Hyejoo said she worked at a coffee shop, could it be the one by our shop? It's the closest one," "When is she working?" "Hyejoo left at like three or three-thirty, so since it's a weekday, let's try it." "Okay, you're going out with Jungeun and Jinsoul, ditch them and find her, call me if you do." "Got you." 

Jungeun drove her red sports car down the highway toward the main city from their mansion off the grid to stay under the radar. Jinsoul sat in the passenger seat, and Yerim in the back. "Hey guys, I left something at the shop, can you drop me off and pick me up when you're done shopping?" Yerim asked, "You need that long?" Jungeun questioned, "Uhh, I don't want to go shopping." "Alright then, you don't have to, you can sit at the shop... by yourself, for an hour,"

"Thank you~" She said in a sing-song voice staring out the window, planning what she'd say to Chaewon when she saw her, she only had to wait about thirty minutes before they dropped her off at the shop, she unlocked it and sat inside. Yerim waited for them to leave and get out of site to walk out of the shop, lock it back up, and walk down to the coffee shop, hoping this was where Chaewon worked. Luckily enough she saw the small blonde girl slinging her backpack over her shoulder about to head out, so she waited for Chaewon to exit the building to make her move. "Hey, Chaewon?" Yerim called, making Chaewon turn around and cock her head to the side. "Yes?" "I'm Yerim, Hyejoo's kind of but not really sister, this is a little crazy, but she really likes you, and I wanted to know if you wanted to come to the party tonight?" 

There was a lot to unpack in that statement before she just smiled, the blonde's brown eyes lighting up, "Of course! What time is it?" "Starts around midnight, officially eleven though. But don't tell Hyejoo I'm doing this, she won't like that." "Oh, alright, I'm not much of a party person though," "Neither is she, if you just stick with either me or Heejin, who you'll meet later, you should be safe. They're pretty intense so it's best to be careful." "Alright. How do I get there, I don't have a car." "Me and Heejin will pick you up, we'll be here around ten-thirty or eleven, is that okay?" "Yeah, that's fine. Thank you so much!" The blonde smiled brightly at the brunette who looked at her almost as fondly, "Here is my number, text me your address, we'll be there." 

Well, now Chaewon would have another thing to violently squeal at Wooseok about.


	7. Chapter 7

Chaewon quickly got ready, her nerves made her hands shake and her stomach twist in knots, she'd be going to Hyejoo's house, telling by the time of the party she'd be spending the night there, and of course just the obvious of getting to see that girl again was enough to make her heart explode. As she always did around Hyejoo, she tried to look her best, although this time she didn't have to wear her uniform, so she could dress a bit more provocatively if she wanted to. She did. Even if she didn't want to admit it.

"You're seriously not going out in that are you?" Wooseok asked as Chaewon walked out of her room, in reference to the length of her skirt. "I won't always be able to track down and beat up guys who are weird to you." "I know, I know, I just want to... Look good for you know..." Wooseok sighed, slightly annoyed, "You shouldn't have to wear less clothing so a crush will notice you, Chae." "A crush? It's not a crush-" "It's an obsession, she's all you talk about these days, but you do those things, you'll be over her tomorrow." 

Chaewon sighed, not liking Wooseok's response but knowing he was trying to understand, he wouldn't always. And maybe it was just a month-long thing. But Chaewon didn't think so, she thought this would be a long, long, "obsession".

"Well, I know you're stubborn, just promise me you'll be safe." "I promise." Chaewon said giving him a hug, her head barely making it to his chest. "Have fun, Chaewon. Try not to drink too much, don't get kidnapped... again, and swear you'll be careful." "Okay, dad." "Oh shut it, now begone with you, I also may of may not have a date," He said with a wink. "Shinwon?" "Obviously. Now go. Have fun, don't die." 

Alright, Chaewon sat outside, waiting for Heejin and Yerim to get there, waving at the red-headed man entering the building, "Hi, Shinwon." "Hey," he said quietly, and smiling as he walked up to the door. Another very expensive looking car, purple this time, stopped at the curb in front of Chaewon's apartment, and she waved at it. She opened the back door and climbed in, "Hi, Chaewon, you look nice today, are you ready?" Yerim said brightly as usual, sitting in the driver's seat, her tattoos matched her personality very well, her sleeves were a background of blue with little yellow suns and stars on it, which made plenty of sense, where as who she assumed was Heejin, was similar to Hyejoo where there was no plan really, just kind of random.

"This is Heejin, if you think Hyejoo is cold, distant, rude, etc, then it only gets worse with her." "Excuse me? I thought we agreed to blame Sooyoung for however she turned out. I'm not a parent, I'm a sister." "Yeah, but she wants to be just like you, remember?" Chaewon just listened to them argue, "Well, sunshine, you wanna tell this one all of Hyejoo's embarrassing secrets, that's what sisters do in movies." "You wanna pick a fight with the shortest temper, moodiest most over-dramatic person in the world." "Yes, duh." "Sooyoung plays maaaaad favorites, you really want to get a lecture?" "Sooyoung'd do it too." "Alright," Chaewon sat there awkwardly, listening to Hyejoo's "sisters" plot against her, trying not to laugh.

"So... You guys wanna tell me something?" Chaewon asked awkwardly, "Uhh, you go first, and keep in mind, nothing too bad," Yerim said. "Noted, the first thing she ever said to anyone other than Sooyoung was asking Jiwoo for pads, remember that?" "That was actually kind of cute." "Yeah, we're starting light." "Why didn't she talk?" Chaewon asked, making Heejin and Sooyoung look at each other trying to decide how to explain it delicately. "Well, you don't end up here if you don't do really bad stuff, sometimes that bad stuff fucks you up in the head and then you find it hard to trust people. I don't know what caused her to do the bad stuff, I know it must be pretty bad since her parents are a very tough subject, we can speculate, but we won't know the truth until she tells either of us." "Wh-what bad stuff?" "I think it'd be best to wait for her to tell you herself, if she ever does."

"Oh, okay..." The drive was pretty long but they eventually made it to the high metal bars forming a fence and a gate clearly high security. They stopped at the gate and Heejin hopped out, she walked toward the monitor, pushing the button and speaking into the speaker. "Hey bitch, I'm home." Heejin said dryly as ever. "Okay opening the gate" Sooyoung said on the other line. The gate slowly opened as Heejin got back in the car, Yerim drove into the driveway as Chaewon was left agape at the house. 

"That's the biggest house I've ever seen..." Chaewon marvled, to which Heejin laughed. "Sooyoung has friends with much bigger houses," the house was set on a huge lake, a little ring of sand on the outside on the other side, it was surrounded by thick woods. I gigantic deck hung out to the side of the house, which some people sat at, near the pool. It was so tall too, and built of clean cream colored bricks. The huge wooden door, with many panels of glass in and around it, is what Chaewon looked at now. Through the windows she could see the crowed room that was dimly lit, but she wasn't able to look very long as Yerim went down a path of the round-about driveway down to the garage. It looked more like the parking garages in the big cities, it was filled with cars. 

She found a part with color painted parking spots that corresponded with the cars, and parked right between the blue and burgundy one. They all stepped out, and Chaewon stuck with Yerim and Heejin as they led her up to the door in the underground garage, which was close to the special parking spots. They walked inside, which led straight to the stairs with two glass doors to what looked like a gym on either side. 

They walked up the stairs, as they could hear the ear-crushing music from the garage, Heejin was the first to make it up, followed by Yerim and lastly Chaewon. They were in the main room by the kitchen where there were plenty of people. Most people sat on the ground, vibrant pills in their hands. "Okay, Chaewon, rules. I know you're here for one person but it still applies. Do not do any drug if you do not know exactly what it is, and what it'll do to you, do not go with anybody off the property, knock and wait three seconds before entering any room, if you feel you're gonna pass out make sure someone can watch you and keep you safe, and do not sleep with anybody you don't know." Heejin explained, "Be safe, it's kind of dangerous here." "Okay, thank you." Chaewon said, smiling at the two. "Alright, Hyejoo's most likely in her room, the left stair case, two doors down on the left," "Okay thanks," Chaewon slipped away toward the stair case and climbed it, she found what she hoped was the right door it opened in front of her. 

A girl who was certainly not Hyejoo was on the other side who gave her a weird look, she had straight black hair and bangs, she turned around to Hyejoo and her friends on the couch, "Hyejoo! Do you know her?" The girl said, to Hyejoo who stood and walked to the door, "I don't care who it is, tell them to fuck of-" Hyejoo began, but stopped seeing Chaewon on the other side as she pushed past her friend, "Byulyi, excuse us." She said stepping out and shutting the door. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Hyejoo snarled, grabbing the small girl's shoulders, "They-they said not to say..." Chaewon said awkwardly, shrinking under Hyejoo's harsh gaze.

"Who said? Tell me, now. I swear to fucking god if you did something..." "No-no, it was uh, Yerim, and Heejin... They brought me here, I promise, you can ask them, I-I'm s-sorry." "It's dangerous here." "I-I know..." "Since you ended up here you better stay with me, why the fuck did they think this would be a good idea? Fucking idiots." "P-please don't tell them I told you, I'm not a snitch, I promise." "You better not be, I'm a serieal killer, and if you get me caught I'm taking you down with me." Hyejoo paused, letting Chaewon go, "God, I need a hit before I break something."

Heejin and Yerim were certainly telling the truth about the short temoer, but Chaewon certainly didn't mind it at all, her shoulders immediately missed the hard grip and the tiny pinch provided. But she shook those thoughts from her mind, especially the slightly more crude ones, then feeling ashamed of having those feelings in the first place. "Oh great, you're panicking again, that's nice, just don't embarrass me alright, baby girl?" "Y-yes, of course." Chaewon answered obediently, feeling her face heat up even more.

"Alright you want to meet everyone now?" "Yeah sure." Hyejoo opened up the door, showing her bedroom with two couches in the middle, where her friends sat. "You met Byulyi." She said gesturing to the other black haired girl with her phone in her hand. "That's Eunyoung, she's the pretty one, but now that you're here that title may be revoked. Sorry that was weird," with shoulder length black hair, and bangs, with some of the prettiest eyes either of them had ever seen. "And lastly, other Sooyoung, not that old hag downstairs, this one is cool, older than mom Sooyoung, but whatever." 

"And who is she?" Eunyoung asked, "Chaewon, ex-hostage, now uh, who knows." "So yall fucking yet or...?" "No." Hyejoo said dryly, rolling her eyes. "Yall look cute together, think yall should get on that." other Sooyoung said as Chaewon shrunk behind Hyejoo, blushing profusely. "Look at her, I mean come on Hyejoo, she clearly wants to," Hyejoo glared at Sooyoung, "Oooh jeez, don't look at me like that, just joking, chill the fuck out." "Are you scared of Hyejoo? She's a literal baby, years younger than all of us." Byulyi asked. "She's scary though, look at her eyes, she's seen some shit." Eunyoung argued, "I'm right here." Hyejoo said, "She can't understand when us adults talk, she doesn't know what we're saying." Byulyi teased.

"I hate all of you." "We know. Now come sit down with your wife and smoke with us, as the adults we demand it." "Don't threaten me with a good time, and don't call her- well... Nevermind." "See, they're in love they just don't know it." Eunyoung said, "The blonde one knows it, just ice princess doesn't yet." "I know! Oh... fuck... I mean-" "Oh shut up ice princess, come here." Hyejoo rolled her eyes, and sat down to join the others, noticing Chaewon just standing there. "Chae, come on." Hyejoo said, snapping Chaewon back to reality and she walked over to the couches about to sit by Hyejoo, "Uh uh uh," Hyejoo chided, "Here." she commanded, patting her thigh, signaling for Chaewon to sit there. "O-oh... Okay." Chaewon didn't hesitate, sitting down in Hyejoo's lap. "Yall can't convince us you don't wanna fuck." "We've known each other as something other than a healthy criminal/hostage relationship for maybe a week, calm down." 

"So? That never stopped Hag Sooyoung." Eunyoung said. "She's... Herself... I'm not her, I'm not like that." "You aren't a good girl, Hyejoo don't lie. You want her as much as she wants-" "Just shut up already." Hyejoo said, cringing as she felt her face dare to heat, "Oh! Look ice princess is blushing now, that's just a clear ye-" "I said shut up." Hyejoo snapped, "Alright ice princess, have it your way, but I bet you twenty dollars you fuck tonight." "Easy money." "Yeah right," 

"You smoking or not?" Byulyi asked, "Smoking?" Chaewon asked, "Crack." "Wha-" "Nah just playin', I don't want to fuck myself up more than I already have." "oh, good, you were about to start looking a lot less attractive." "We don't want that, do we? I think I know the answer, but do you do smoke?" "What?" "Cannabis, Chae, it's not that complicated, it's a plant, that you light on fire, that calms your fucked up brain chemicals so you don't want to violently strangle everyone in close proximity." "Blonde girl's in close proximity, can yall like get to it?" Byulyi said "Don't force it, Byulie, they're gonna do it anyway, might as well leave it alone." Sooyoung said.

Hyejoo lifted the pipe from the table, giving it a light, and taking a deep inhale. "Oh hey, Yongsun is here, I gotta go, you know..." Byulyi said, clicking her tongue, and winking. "Get that pussy, moon." Sooyoung said, "That means Joohyun and Yechan are here too, so we should go, well be here in the morning." Eunyoung began, "I'll be expecting my twenty dollars, Hyejoo."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a smut chapter, keep that in mind

Once everyone was gone, Hyejoo grabbed the bottle off the table and drank from it. "Those people are wrong," Hyejoo grumbled, sitting back and drinking again. "Yeah, totally," Chaewon said awkwardly, "We haven't even kissed yet." "I know, that's ridiculous," "Stupid. Like I'd ever do that kind of stuff with anyone." "Me too." "No interest at all." "Same here." But there was no sense in denying what was true, actions speak louder than words, no? The constant denying couldn't cover the fact that they'd been moving closer and closer the entire time. Hyejoo's hands had someway found their spot on Chaewon's thighs and now kneaded them, squeezing them in her hands.

"they're crazy," Hyejoo mumbled grabbing Chaewon's face and kissing her, not caring that Chaewon's head was probably exploding. "I don't lose bets. Even if twenty dollars is nothing to me." Hyejoo said after separating them slightly, nipping Chaewon's bottom lip, "I'll give her the twenty dollars." Chaewon said, "I'm poor as fuck, but I have twenty dollars." "Well, if we don't say anything-" "That's cheating." "Yeah, you're right." Hyejoo twisted Chaewon around so they'd be facing each other, slowly digging her nails into the blonde's thighs.

"This skirt is so short, Chaewon, does that mean you were looking to score, baby girl?" "N-no... I didn't know what was gonna happen," "Then you're as surprised as I am, since as you could have probably guessed, I don't do this sort of thing, ever." "Oh... Why not?" "I can't trust people, honestly I can't truly trust you yet, not personal, I have some issues that may make some things a little hard for you." "R-really? Like what?" "Like this."

She felt a metal cylinder press into the bottom of her chin, it took her a second to realize what it was, and when she did, her heart dropped. "Hye-Hyejoo..." Chaewon said as Hyejoo held the gun to her chin, "Wh-what are you doing?" Chaewon said fearfully. "Making sure nothing happens that I can't control." "Wh-why?" "I said I have issues Chaewon, I wasn't fucking around, was I?" "Certainly not." Chaewon said, her body shaking uncontrollably, the fear drenching her in a cold sweat. "Don't be scared, Chae, do you honestly think I'd shoot you?" "I- um" "Don't answer that, because the answer is of course not, more of a safety precaution. As long as you're okay with that of course."

"U-uh ye-yeah," "And you aren't just saying that because I'm pointing a gun at you, are you?" "N-no." "Are you absolutely sure?" "Yes," "200% sure?" "Yes." "You're not gonna let me do anything you don't want?" "I won't I promise." "Good girl." Hyejoo slowly went back to Chaewon's lips, coating the other's pretty pink lips with her black lipstick. "If you aren't ready to do this we don't have to, Hyejoo." "Oh yes we do, I gotta stop running away from my issues someday."

"This is still running." "Shut up, don't make me mad." "I-I like it..." Hyejoo paused, "You what now?" "Be mad again..." Of course, by this point Chaewon had lost all of what she called dignity, it didn't matter anymore, she wasn't in her right mind anymore whether that be through arousal or contact-high, either way, she'd be making some bad decisions.

"You collect fucking beanie babies how the hell-" "Please do it. I don't want to think about it." Hyejoo scoffed, smirking with interest. "You're quite the character, aren't you?" "I-I said do it, don't think about it, do it." There laid the bait, which she took gladly. "Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?" "At least I'm not a coward, too afraid to give me what I want." "At least I'm not a masochist, I try to interrogate you and you just get off on it? Weirdo." "You're holding a gun to my throat, and I'm the weird one?" "Shut up," "Make me." Hyejoo pushed Chaewon off her, laying her down on the couch as she climbed on top and kissed Chaewon quite roughly, coating Chaewon's lips and the surrounding area in her black lipstick.

She moved her lips down from Chaewon's lips to her neck, lightly kissing, searching all over for the spot that'd send goosebumps down Chaewon's arms. Once found she caught it between her teeth and bit down making Chaewon squeak, "I can mark you up, right?" Hyejoo asked, getting a barely audible yes. Once she'd gotten the permission, it was time to follow through. Hyejoo continued biting all around the sensitive spot, the fear making the sensation stronger, again, suspending believe she was safe in order for a heightened experience.

"Ah! You're biting too hard!" Chaewon cried, after one specifically hard one, "Never talk to me like that." Hyejoo growled, running her hand up Chaewon's skirt and pinching her butt extra hard for that one, causing the blonde to blush again, hating that she enjoyed this so much. "S-sorry." She mumbled, "You know, any normal girl would have left a long time ago, a normal girl never would have sought me out. Maybe we really are meant for each other." "I always thought so, you're still scaring me, and I still think you're absolutely insane, but I don't mind it."

"Well, you'd be correct about that, I'm not the healthiest of individuals." Saying that, she took off Chaewon's sweater, then carrying on to squeeze the small girl's thighs, as she slowly moved down to nibbling on her collar bone. "Really? Never woulda' guessed." "Obnoxious bitch." Hyejoo mumbled, "You're lucky you're cute." she paused, "Alright, come here." she said grabbing Chaewon and standing her up, and moving her to the wall.

Hyejoo palmed the blonde's forehead and pinned it to the wall and pressed the gun into her neck firmly. "Take that slutty shit off and put your hands behind your back." "Y-yes..." Chaewon hesitantly reached behind her back and unclipped it, removing it and tossing to the side, while Hyejoo pressed the gun to her collarbone, before getting violently yanked by her shoulders as Hyejoo turned her over and stuck the gun in its spot in her belt. Obediently putting her wrists together behind her back. "You remember these?" Hyejoo said, her nimble fingers working the metal cuffs around Chaewon's wrists again. "I know how much you loved wearing them, even if you were scared, I know deep inside you wanted me to take you home."

"If you did, would you do this to me?" Hyejoo laughed, "Doesn't matter, you would have found your way into my bedroom anyway, fucking slut, get on the bed." Hyejoo commanded, she grabbed Chaewon's arm and threw her down on the bed. "Alright, where was I?" She said, flipping Chaewon over once more so she laid on her back. The moonlight coming in through the curtains was enough to see how cute those tiny pink nipples were, how nice they'd be to bite on, and how loudly Chaewon would scream if she did.

Chaewon whined, gulping anxiously, as Hyejoo climbed on top and resumed her work on Chaewon's neck, switching between light kisses and bites, keeping Chaewon guessing. Hyejoo's mouth slowly moved down, squeezing the small pale moonlight lit chest of the blonde as she playfully wiggled around in her bindings. As her lips took the place of her hands her hands wandered lower, playing with Chaewon's short skirt. "God, you're wearing fucking lingerie with this short-ass skirt, you're just fucking begging for it aren't you? You're too good of a girl to dress like this, you must have done it for me, didn't you?" She wasn't wrong, Chaewon did want to look sexy, she wanted to prove Hyejoo wrong, she wasn't a good innocent girl, and she needed to prove that. Of course, she'd be good for Hyejoo, but in general, she felt the need to act a bit bad today.

"I might have..." Hyejoo laughed, "That's cute, you think your slutty clothes can impress me? It just distracts from how perfect you are if I'm honest." Chaewon smiled, blushing at the compliment. "Are you going soft?" In response to that, she caught the pink bud in between her teeth and bit down lightly, making the other scream. "F-fine! I'm sorry! You-you aren't soft! I should never have said that!" Chaewon pleaded, "Maybe that'll teach you to take a fucking compliment." "Y-you're right. T-thank you." Hyejoo sneered, pinching the sore nipple in her fingers, "That's it, beg me to be kind to you, that's hot as fuck."

Chaewon smiled, happy to please the woman crafted from her dreams, this moment was all she could have hoped for. Well ideally she would have came by now, but Hyejoo seems to be taking her sweet time with it. She wondered what would happen if she acted out a bit, how would Hyejoo react to it? Chaewon could feel her insides twist on knots even thinking about it. "Can you hurry up and fuck me already, I'm getting bored," Chaewon said with a pout, hiding her sinister smile, seeing Hyejoo's face go from shock to anger rather quickly.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Hyejoo asked furiously, pulling Chaewon up into a sitting position, and grabbing her throat. "What universe are you from that you think that'd be okay to say to me, you're not just a slut, you're dumb as fuck too." Hyejoo sat up from Chaewon and forced her over on her stomach, squeezing the back of her neck with one hand and grabbing her hair and pushing her face into the mattress, trying her best to restrict the air from the blonde. "Do you want to cum tonight or no? I don't have to do it. I don't have to do anything, including I don't have to be quick for your greedy whore ass. So I'll ask you again, DO. YOU. WANT. TO. CUM. OR. NOT?"

"Yes, I do." Chaewon said muffled by the mattress. "Then never, tell me what to do, EVER, AGAIN. You entitled little slut you, and don't swear either, it sounds wrong when you do it." Hyejoo removes her grip on Chaewon letting her catch her breath, she removed the gun from her belt and lifted up Chaewon's skirt. Rubbing the gun against Chaewon's white lace coated ass, and then smacked the gun against her. Chaewon screamed, clutching Hyejoo's bedding in her tiny little fists.

"Can't wait to see the bruise from that. Believe me, babe, there are more coming." That threat sounded great, she wanted to have those marks weeks later. "P-please, do... Mark me up, please..." Chaewon whined. Hyejoo slowly slid the gun back in her belt, slyly moved her fingers under Chaewon's underwear, and slowly slid them off her body. Hyejoo rolled Chaewon over again, and spread her legs open. "God, you're wet, is me being pissed at you really that exciting?" "O-of course..." "Of course? It's surprising to me." "Don't underestimate yourself,"

"I'm not, I'm just still shocked you like this kind of stuff, I mean, look at you." "Yeah look at me." "I mean normally." "I mean normally too, all the pastel, lacey dresses, stuff like that, that's basically submissive 101. I made it obvious." "Since when- Nevermind." Hyejoo now straddled Chaewon's legs, hands on the small girl's waist, tracing tiny circles on her stomach. Chaewon just laid there, her arms stuck underneath her, as she watched Hyejoo slowly unbutton her shirt. The loose flannel shirt hung off her body, now opened completely, showing off the plain black push up on her chest. She flipped Chaewon over and uncuffed one hand, flipping her back around and binding her wrists to the headboard. "Much better," She said slyly, continuing to undress, sliding off her black jeans and flannel shirt, followed quickly by the rest of her clothes.

Hyejoo lifts Chaewon's thigh above hers, running her hand along Chaewon's velvet-soft calf and thigh, before scraping the leg with her nails. Hyejoo's hands went up from Chaewon's legs to her hips and locked them in place with her tight grip. Hyejoo took a quick sip from the flask out of her belt as she felt the drunken haze fading slightly, and she couldn't lose that euphoria just yet. "This good?" She asked the blonde, "Yes it's perfect." She set the flask down on the bed, and now she'd found the position she wanted. Hyejoo's hands shot down to the smaller girl's hips, as she began to move slowly, long hard thrusts that left both shivering. "Hye-Hyejoo" Chaewon called to get the younger's attention. "Yes baby?" "C-can you please s-slap me again?" Hyejoo laughed at the request, the same laugh that was teasing and mocking, that made Chaewon angry. "You haven't done anything bad, though."

"Fuck you, you're doing an awful job." Chaewon said with a smirk, Hyejoo rolled her eyes, "Oh fine." she said, grabbing hold of the leg of the girl laying on her back and provided her with hard smacks on her creamy thigh, staining the perfect pale skin with red handprints. "That better, you little freak?" Chaewon nodded, failing to find something to cover her embarrassment with. "You're getting shy again? You can't handle me knowing about your spanking kink can you?" Chaewon blushed more, moaning even louder when she felt harder strikes on her thigh, "You're no better than I am, are you princess?"

Tears pooled in the corner of Chaewon's eyes, she wasn't sure why, but they were there. "How about you fucking answer me, are you deaf?" Hyejoo yelled, smacking the small girl's leg with nearly all of her strength, as she'd not been slapping too hard as she didn't want to hurt Chaewon. "Y-yes I'm sorry, I-I'm weird I-I know..." Chaewon cried out, as the tears went down her cheeks. Hyejoo leaned in slightly. "Are you okay?" She asked concerned, Chaewon hummed out a yes, "You sure? I'll stop if you need me to." "N-no, I'm okay, thanks for checking on me..." Chaewon said lolling her head back, as her spine arched, Hyejoo sat up again watching Chaewon. "You're gonna cum already? Fucking slut, how dare you do it without me!"

"N-No, I'll wait for you, I promise!" "You fucking better! Or else you'll have one hell of a punishment in store for you." Chaewon kind of liked that threat, but her leg was very sore by now, and she was gonna be ready to sleep after this. "O-oh shit..." Hyejoo groaned as the tension built in her core, "Alright, cum for me you fucking cunt." She hissed, as low raspy moans fell from her mouth, and felt even better hearing many broken cries of her name from the small girl. Once they'd both finished Hyejoo carefully untangled herself, and uncuffed Chaewon.

She pulled Chaewon into a tight hug, holding her close and kissing her shoulder. "I didn't hurt you did I?" She asked cautiously, a severe tone change from her last statement. "No... Why?" "I want to make sure, I didn't break any boundaries or anything. You mean the world to me and I don't want to hurt you." "No not at all," Hyejoo hugged Chaewon tighter, "I'm sorry, babe." "No no no no, don't apologize, it was fine, I-I liked it..." She said hesitantly, nervous to bring up the fact she really did like how Hyejoo treated her, even if she already did.

"I know, I just feel guilty about it," "That's okay, baby." Chaewon smiled, running her hands down Hyejoo's abs, the dark-haired girl smiled, running her hands up Chaewon's thighs, petting the soft skin. "Lay here, sweetheart," Hyejoo said, patting her chest. "The-there?" "Oh my god, yes, what are you scared of?" "I don't know. I thought you'd have me out of here after this..." "What? Of course not, baby girl, I don't do that, I really want you to stay the night, and maybe we can do something fun tomorrow." "Oh really?" Chaewon said smiling and giggling to herself, "Like what?" Chaewon asked, slowly laying herself down on Hyejoo's soft chest, nestling the side of her face into Hyejoo's cleavage, humming with content, then humming with content once more as Hyejoo played with her hair.

"I could show you around the house, and have you meet everyone. It all just depends on how long you're willing to stay. You could drink with us, and hang out with us because we have dinner and drinks every night, and if you're willing to spend another night then we could do that." "I can totally do that! I already met Heejin and Yerim, they were the ones who brought me here, they told me not to tell you, but you probably think I'm a crazy stalker still, so I wanted to clear my name." "Son of a bitch... They really did this?" "Yeah, don't be mad at them, I don't want them to think I'm a snitch." "Well you just had sex with a murderer, so you better not be a snitch." "Mass murderer." "Whatever."


	9. Chapter 9

"Alright then, I'll just be taking my money," Eunyoung said, making Hyejoo crack her eyes open. Yeah, there was no way out of this one, even with the blanket covering most of their bodies it was still blatantly obvious. "Do you fucking knock?" Hyejoo grumbled angrily at the intrusion. "I did, several times, I had to come in here and make sure you weren't dead. But looks like you just got tired out." "Shut up." "Why are you so angry when you wake up?" "Because it's the morning." "It's three pm, Hyejoo." "W-what?" "Three pm, it's three, in the afternoon." 

"Oh," "Well, it doesn't matter, I just woke up like twenty minutes ago, but we're staying for the rest of the day, by the way, we made the executive decision." "You're just inviting yourselves to stay a whole other day? That's polite. Bitch, learn manners." "Sooyoung said we could stay" "So? She's probably dead-ass cracked out right now, she don't even know where she is." "She seemed fine, why do you hate Sooyoung so much?" "I don't hate her, she's just annoying as fuck sometimes." 

"I know, but you're so hard on her, ease up, kid." Hyejoo rolled her eyes, "Can you like, get out so I can put clothes on?" "Yeah yeah, after that we're hanging out if we have to force you." "You will have to force me." "Well, it's like six on two, we're gonna win." "Whatever just get out." "Fine, fine, fine," Eunyoung said, stepping out of the room. "Yo, how the hell did you sleep through that?" Hyejoo asked the girl laying on her. "I wasn't, I was just saving myself from an awkward situation by faking it." "Sensible." Hyejoo paused, rolling Chaewon off her, "I'm gonna get dressed so those losers can hang out with me, and I suggest you do the same." 

"I don't have other clothes," Hyejoo walked over to the two doors, one being the bathroom, the other her closet. "Here." She said, tossing Chaewon the first t shirt that came into contact with her hand. "What about other stuff?" "Rewear your underwear? You can do that sometimes," "B-but..." "Oh fine, sure maybe they got wet wear them inside out." "Oh. Okay. And a bra?" "Bras are torture devices created under a male patriarchy designed to make women uphold impossible standards of titties that defy gravity, Chae, it's unnatural." "You wore one last ni-" "Shhh." 

"Alright then," "I'm gonna shower, I'll be back." "Okay," Chaewon said, nodding her head, she put on her clothes, and sat on the couch, waiting for Hyejoo to get out of the shower, that is until she heard a knock on the door, a pause, and then Heejin entered. "Oh, Hi Chaewon, is Hyejoo in the shower?" "Yeah," "Did you have fun yesterday? I know these parties can be a bit intense, and you don't seem very intense, at all." "Ye-yeah, you're right, but up here was nice, not too many people." Heejin nodded sitting down by Chaewon, "You know your clothes are all over the floor right?" Chaewon gulped, the heat rising in her face. "Y-yeah... I guess they are." 

"Good, I worry about that kid sometimes, I watched her grow up from fifteen til now, and she never showed any interest in anybody at all. I know that some people are just like that, but I was worried that she had some sort of trauma." "She does." "Did she tell you?" "Not fully no." "Good luck trynna' squeeze that out of her, I've known her for almost five years and she still won't speak a word about it, and as far as I know Sooyoung's the only one who knows. As I told you in the car we can speculate, but we won't know until she coughs it up. Watch out for her, alright? She's seen some shit." Heejin said, resting a hand on Chaewon's shoulder, and stood up, "I'll be back with everyone else." Chaewon nodded, and watched Heejin leave the room.

She heard the water in the bathroom stop and some shuffling before Hyejoo stepped out of the bathroom in a white t shirt and black gym shorts, her wet hair sending droplets of water down her shirt. "Did Heejin just give you the whole, Hyejoo doesn't fuck somebody every night so she must be traumatized speech?" "Yeah." "That's bullshit, I love Heejin, but that's just bullshit, I don't get why they think they're something wrong with waiting for someone you actually like." "You know, they're just worried about you, they want you to be like them, that's their normal," "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not anyone's normal." "Yeah, I noticed."

"They need to realize people heal at their own pace." "Heal from what?" Chaewon asked pretending to be innocent. "Things that happened," "That's very vague." "Maybe I'm being vague cause' I don't want to talk about it." "Listen Hyejoo, you don't need to keep secrets from me, I swear, whatever it is you can tell me." Hyejoo inhaled deeply, suppressing the anger threatening to reer its ugly head. "I'm gonna be patient since you're new here, but the issues about my parents and life before this place is something I don't talk about, and that's something that really pisses me the fuck off when people keep bringing it up." 

"Oh... I'm sorry." "It's okay, you gotta learn that if you're gonna be around here often." "Yeah, okay, lesson learned, but, you're gonna have to tell me some day you know that." "Yeah? I guess I will. Won't I?" "Only when you're ready." "Thanks, babe," She sat down next to Chaewon and kissed her cheek, "Come here," Hyejoo said patting her thighs, Chaewon smiled sitting on Hyejoo's lap again, and laying her head on top of Hyejoo's. "Hyejoo!! Give me your money!" Eunyoung yelled as she burst in the room. "Oh my god, fine." Hyejoo said, standing up, this time taking Chaewon with her, lifting her up with her left arm underneath. 

Chaewon was about to be surprised and then realized that this was Hyejoo, and nothing she did or does makes sense. "H-how can you lift me so easily?" "Training, and you're super small, it's quite easy, although it'd be a lot easier if you gripped on me harder," "Oh, sorry." Chaewon said, wrapping her legs and arms around Hyejoo as she searched a compartment in her backpack. "What training?" Chaewon asked, "Well, being a perfect killer means you have to be really good at killing, strong to overpower people, fast to get away, you know stuff like that. Killing people is hard work." "Yeah I can see that." 

"Oh if you like her muscles you'll love hearing her play you a song." Eunyoung pointed out with a smirk on her face. "Don't start that." "Play?" "Since you didn't know Hyejoo plays the guitar and no homo or anything but it's pretty hot. And I know exactly what you're thinking, what kind of a god would make somebody so bad-ass, so muscular, so talented, and so hot, but make them a complete asshole? Who knows." "Shut up, you are the worst!" Hyejoo said laughing, "You know its true. Honey, all you're missing is a motorcycle then you'll just be the girl version of all of Lana Del Rey's boyfriends, tall, emo, mean, attractive, and emotionally unavailable." 

"The library is closed, Eunyoung. No more reading." "Oh fine, just want Chaewon to know what she's in for." "Hyejoo seems emotionally available," Chaewon defended. "Plus if she isn't it's not her fault, you know the kind of life she lives." "Alrighty then. Well then, you better be emotionally available because this one has a lot, and I mean A LOT of emotions." "I noticed." "I said the library is closed." Hyejoo reiterated. "Okay, miss delicate flower." Eunyoung mocked, "Do you want the twenty or nah?" "Of course I do." "Then shut up."

"For the record, I think you being the moody child of the family is hella cute." Chaewon said, pinching Hyejoo's cheek. "See? She likes you no matter what you do," "Yeah you're just annoying." "Eunyoung, don't poke the bear," Byulyi said, walking in the door, with the rest of Hyejoo's friends as Hyejoo walked back and shamefully handed Eunyoung the twenty, and set Chaewon down on the couch. "Ooooh, someone got laid." Other Sooyoung said, pinching Hyejoo's shoulder, "Oh shut it. Look at her, that bet was made to lose." 

"No, you shut it, and play your wife a song, she wants to hear it, look at her." Other Sooyoung argued, to which Hyejoo rolled her eyes, and walked over to her guitar stand in the corner, earning cheers from everyone else. She picked up the instrument and walked over to the couch, sitting down across from Chaewon and begrudgingly tuning it. Before playing it, a couple of chords sounding melodic together. "Oh yes, girl, that song," Byulyi cheered.

"Early in the morning, rising to the street, light me up that cigarette and I'll strap shoes on my feet." She sang in a slightly unexpected deep raspy tone. "Trynna' find a reason, a reason things went wrong, trynna find a reason why my money's all gone. But I got a dalmation, and I can still get high, and I can play the guitar like a motherfucking riot." 

"Bitch work." Other Sooyoung said with a laugh. "But life is." "Too short," Byulyi chanted, as Hyejoo sang. "So love the one you got, cause' you might get ran over or you might get shot. Never start no static I just get it off my chest, never had a battle with no bulletproof vest. Take a small example ti-ti-ti-tip from me, take all of your money and give it all to charity, love's what I got, it's within my reach, and the sublime's style's still straight from Long Beach. It all comes back to you, you'll get what you deserve, try and test that, you're bound to get served, love's what I got, don't start no riot, you'll feel it when the dance gets hot."

"Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that, Lovin', is what I got, and remember that, Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that, Lovin', is what I got, I got, I got, I got. And that was a song about peace brought to you by a murderer, thank you very much." Hyejoo said with a laugh, setting the guitar on the floor, and trying to ignore Chaewon's surprised glance. "Hypocrite!" Eunyoung said, "I admitted it, anyway, smoking time."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extreme content warning for mentioned abuse and assault

Chaewon woke up in Hyejoo's bed again, she checked her phone and responded to all the worried texts from Wooseok, and wondered why the other side of the bed was empty. She stood and put on the t-shirt Hyejoo gave her once again, and pressed her ear to the bathroom door, hearing nothing. It was nine am which was a strange time for Hyejoo to be up since Hyejoo usually didn't wake before one pm. She opened Hyejoo's door, nearly forgetting the path of the house from the first time she walked up to Hyejoo's room, but she saw the stairs just to the left and walked down them. 

She looked at the huge open room at the entrance where the other staircase was, and further behind the stairs was the kitchen. She looked around, walking on the cold marble floors, but as she made her way to the kitchen she saw a bit of familiar dark hair. Identifying it by the emerald ends, Hyejoo had her knees pressed to her chest, looking like she'd been crying recently, but upon seeing Chaewon she tried to stand on her wobbly legs, and wipe all the tears from her face. "H-hi p-princess..." She said sounding mostly like the slurred mumble of somebody trying not to throw up. "Hi," Chaewon greeted before watching Hyejoo grip the counter to try to keep her footing. 

"Are you drunk?" "N-no..." "Hyejoo, come on. It's the morning why are you-" "I'm not." Chaewon rolled her eyes, "Don't tell Sooyoung, she still thinks I'm over it, I don't want her to worry about me." Hyejoo begged, "Over what?" "I can't say." Chaewon thought of what to say next, but coming off unsure, deciding she had more to be preoccupied with. "Hyejoo sit down, you're gonna blackout." "I-I'm not, I'm fine." "Sit down." "N-n-no... I'm fine." "I said sit down." "O-okay fine," Hyejoo said sliding down the counter and sitting down on the floor, not before grabbing the bottle from her old spot on the floor.

"Now, what's wrong? You were crying," "No I wasn't." Chaewon took a deep breath, suppressing her anger, and sitting next to Hyejoo. "I'm trying to be patient, I hope you know that." "Whatever." "Tell me what's wrong Hyejoo, please. I'll try to help, I swear." "You can't." "I can try," "You can't go back in time and change things, can you?" "No, but I can help you feel better about them." "There is no feeling better about this." Hyejoo said sternly. "I'm sure there is." "Why does everyone want to make me talk about this shit?" "Because you're drinking and crying alone about it, I want to help you." "That's just how I am alright? Now stop talking about it, either shut up or go upstairs." "Come on, don't be like that." "No! You don't be like that! You don't fucking listen do you? I said shut up or go upstairs I CANNOT talk about it." Chaewon expected that response at some point.

She put her hand on Hyejoo's shoulder, "Shh, it's okay, I swear I'm here to help." "You aren't helping get away from me!" Hyejoo yelled, tears pooling in her eyes before she tried to blink them away, eventually losing control and having them stream down her cheeks. "I'm here to help, remember that, scream at me all you want but it's not gonna do anything." "I said you aren't helping go away! I don't want you here! Go upstairs!" Chaewon pet Hyejoo's hair, trying her best to soothe her, her other hand squeezing her thigh. 

"I really don't want to yell at you, Chaewon, but you know how I feel about this, I told you, BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN, FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!" Chaewon took a deep breath again and took her hands off Hyejoo crossing them over her chest and facing the entrance room just as Hyejoo was. Chaewon didn't do so well when people yelled at her, well, when they really yelled. She knew Hyejoo didn't mean it, but her eyes filled with tears regardless. "You know what? Have it your way." Chaewon said standing and walking toward the staircase, before someone caught her hand, stopping her from going further. 

"I-I'm sorry..." Hyejoo said, pulling Chaewon into a hug, "I-I just can't say, I mean it, I seriously don't have the words. But that's not your fault, I'm really sorry, baby girl, I'm sorry." Hyejoo paused, "W-what I-I did was wrong..." "It's okay, I'm not mad." "N-no I mean what I did, back then, it felt justified, b-but it wasn't... They-they didn't deserve to die, just nobody would listen to me when I said I didn't want to be alone with him, an-and he-he... He made me do it..."

Chaewon had questions, but she figured she'd let Hyejoo ramble until maybe she could utter a coherent sentence. "C-can we go upstairs?" Hyejoo asked, "Of course." she walked up the stairs followed by Chaewon, and she sat on the bed, letting Chaewon close the door behind them. "I-I needed privacy." "I understand, what did he make you do?" "I-I... Something bad, something I know I should regret but I don't, I felt so good to finally make him feel every ounce of pain he put me through, b-but I know it was wrong... I-I snapped I couldn't take it anymore... I'm not a monster am I?" "No, of course not." Chaewon said resting a hand on Hyejoo's thigh again, not exactly sure what she was talking about, but would comfort her anyway. 

"I-I should have asked somebody for help, I never thought they'd believe me, I was more concerned with my dignity than my own safety, I was such a fucking idiot." "Who is he?" "Uhh m-my dad." Chaewon felt this topic take a nose dive with all the possible situations that she could be talking about, "W-what did you do to him?" "I buried that motherfucker in the ground." Chaewon felt some warning lights go off in her mind, what could have been so bad to kill your own father over? "Oh..." "A-and I fucking smiled spilling his blood on the kitchen floor, fuck... I am a monster." Hyejoo cried, wiping all the tears from her face. 

Chaewon couldn't object to that yet, she couldn't lie to Hyejoo, that sounded very bad. "E-everybody constantly talked about how good of a person he was, how nice he was, how cool he was, they'd tell me I was lucky to have a father like that, they didn't know him like I did, they didn't know what he did behind closed doors and if I ever told anyone they'd never believe me. I was a fucked up kid, I tore spiders apart in my attic with a knife, but they-they didn't know that all if that was his fault. And everyone was scared of me." 

"He-he hit you?" Chaewon questioned, to which Hyejoo exhaled. "He didn't just hit me, Chaewon." Chaewon felt her heart drop to her stomach, realizing what she was implying. "O-oh god..." Chaewon whimpered, now things made sense, a lot of things made sense. Now she realized she should have expected that knowing as that was what most murderers dealt with, but just the idea of that made her extremely sick. "Y-you're not a monster, Hyejoo. I understand now, even if it wasn't right to kill, it was definitely deserved. None of what you did, the killing or anything like that is your fault, remember that, you're not a bad person, remember? I love you Hyejoo," Chaewon gave Hyejoo a hug, letting the younger girl cry into her shoulder as she pat her back and planted kisses on her cheek. "I love you too."


	11. Chapter 11

Year fourteen - March 30th

This teacher had been talking for far too long, especially in Hyejoo's opinion, who at this point nearly had it with everyone in this god damn town. She huffed, hearing the people behind her laugh, in her crooked view, if she was unhappy, everyone should be, and she was never happy these days, so she just wanted people to join in her suffering. Which is why she chose to behave the way she did. Luckily, before she could rip out the throats of the smiling girls behind her, the bell rang, and she sped out to be the first one out of the room, offering a glare to the happy friends behind her.

Then she remembered that she had to stay after school to clean the library, she had gotten that punishment from continuously picking and in some cases beating some of the weaker kids in her grade. Everyone had no option other than to be patient with her, they knew she had a bad home life, they saw the bruises, but nobody would say or do anything, including herself. The best they could do is start punishing her with activities to stay away from home later, which she understood, and appreciated. But she still wished she could just sit in the back and sit on her phone, or talk to the friends she didn't have. 

But she was a slacker at heart, so instead of cleaning she just decided to sit behind the school and pretend to read. There was another girl who did the same thing, although she was sitting atop the dumpster, a cigarette hung loosely from her lips, and when she wasn't actively smoking she was loudly smacking her bubble gum. Hyejoo viewed her as a fake imitation of herself, she was a different kind of outcast, not because she was so different, but because she was too much of a faker to keep friendships. She dressed in a quite grungey style, obviously got the smoking habit from peer pressure, she acted dangerous, but unlike Hyejoo, was obviously not. 

The constant smacking of her gum alerted Hyejoo's ears, annoyed to have the serenity of silence disturbed she rolled her eyes. She did her best to untangle her black sunglasses from her greasey black hair, mostly succeeding in the task, she stood up and walked to the dumpster. "Spit it out, loser." She said sternly, the girl looked at her like she was insane for demanding her like that. "Do I know you?" She said, jumping down from the dumpster and standing in front of Hyejoo. "Probably, I'm pretty infamous around here." "Aren't you that cunt that beat up my friend?" Hyejoo laughed, "Didn't know you had friends, but if you do, then I probably did." 

"Bitch..." She mumbled to which Hyejoo sneered, "And what's your name, baby girl?" "Ryujin, and you're-" "You know my name." "I do. Now why do you think it's okay to talk to me like that?" Hyejoo laughed at that too, "Apperently you don't know me." "Apperently you don't know what happens when people stand up to you." Ryujin mocked, blowing smoke in Hyejoo's face with a wink. Hyejoo sighed, grabbing the collar of Ryujin's distressed denim jacket, "Don't fucking test me." "Jesus, calm down." Ryujin exclaimed, letting her fear shine through on her face if only for a second. "Spit the fucking gum out," Ryujin smirked, spiting the gum as well as some saliva in Hyejoo's face, the ball of mostly used up gum just bounced off her forehead. 

Hyejoo maintained a mean glance into Ryujin's eyes as she wiped the spit off with the sleeve of her leather jacket which had a few too many safety pins stuffed in it's collar. "I'm gonna give you to the count of three to get the fuck out of here." She threatened, letting go of Ryujin's collar and allowing her to leave. "That's cute." Ryujin mocked, "One." Ryujin rolled her eyes, and hummed a song cheerfully, doing her best to not be afraid. "Wait... What song are you singing?" Hyejoo asked suddenly. "Chambers, down the rabbit hole." "You like them?" "Yes, do you?" "Yes." There was a brief silence before they both laughed, "Holy shit I can't believe it! They're so underrated!" "I know!" Ryujin cheered in agreement.

They soon ended up talking about their similar taste in (sadly) unheard of rock bands and groups, soon agreeing that Silence was god tier, along with some other of their favorite songs from the duo, and somehow realized, maybe they would be better off sticking together. Ryujin laughed, "Sorry for spitting the gum in your face." "Nah, that was fucking hilarious." "I guess it was, and you were sooooo pissed." "I was ready to kill you." "I know!" Hyejoo checked her phone out of curiosity, and her heart sank. "Everything alright?" "I-I gotta go, I'm sorry..." "What's wrong?" Ryujin asked Hyejoo, who suddenly looked like she was beginning to panic, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "I-I have to leave, now. U-uh... I'll see you tomorrow." 

Hyejoo checked her phone again, seeing the time was around 7pm, and she had countless missed calls from her dad. "But seriously, Hyejoo tell me, is something wrong?" "N-no... I just... My dad's gonna be pissed at me from staying at school too long, that's all." From the evident fear in her voice, that was certainly not all. "Doesn't sound like that's it." "That's it!" She snapped, "U-uh I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell... I-I gotta go... Bye Ryujin." She said waving to her new friend, before turning and walking as fast as she could back to the place she dreaded the most.

Year fifteen - November 25th

"Ryujin, I'm telling you this because I trust you, and if you turn me in, oh well, bound to happen some day. But I need your help, please help me." That was how the voicemail left on Ryujin's phone began, a frantic and obviously sobbing Hyejoo spoke to her, pleading for her assistance, and kept repeating something about how Ryujin could never tell anyone or she would be dead if she wasn't already. She felt guilty she missed the calls Hyejoo sent her, all the texts, and was now only getting to the voicemails, realizing how urgent the call was, and panicking to call Hyejoo back. Ryujin felt scared, that she was unable to help her friend, in this urgent situation she had found herself in.

She felt an air of relief pass her when Hyejoo answered. "Hyejoo? Hello? I'm so sorry I missed your calls it was really late at night and I was asleep. Please tell me you're okay." "It's fine, it's fine, I'm okay, can you meet me somewhere I can say these things over the phone someone might be listening." "What?" "Just meet me in front of the coffee shop, please." 

Year fifteen - January 4th

They sat on the top of Ryujin's car in the park, it was late, and the christmas lights that were still up shined against the snow. They were cold, but they were huddled closely together, and would have done the easy thing and sat in the car with the heat on, but this view was worth freezing for. Ryujin kept Hyejoo's hand in hers, trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue as Hyejoo watched and laughed. Hyejoo hadn't given the full truth, she just told Ryujin she ran away, nothing about the killing, nothing about any of her less favorable actions or feelings, but she did not want to scare Ryujin away, since things were going so well.

"Here, I'm gonna get out food, be right back." Ryujin said, hopping off the top of the car and opening to door, she grabbed the takeout bag and a large blanket, handing them to Hyejoo and climbing back up. "Aww you look so cute when your nose and cheeks are all red," Ryujin said smiling, while throwing the blanket around Hyejoo, only making the dark-haired girl's face redder. Hyejoo opened the paper bag, eating some of the fries from it before handing it back to Ryujin. "So..." Ryujin began, "I planned something to say to you." "Yeah?" "But I don't know how to do it." 

"Are you gonna say you like me?" Hyejoo asked, smiling at Ryujin and taking her hand. "In a sense... yeah." "Yeah, I know." "Oh... D-do you?" Hyejoo paused, "Yeah. Truama bonding does something to people." "Ye-yeah, but you said you didn't like anyone," "That's what I mean by trauma bonding." "But I don't want you to just like me since I took care of you, and I don't want you to say that just because you think you'll hurt my feelings, I know you." Hyejoo sighed, squeezing Ryujin's hand, "Listen, nothing with me is ever gonna last forever, Ryujin. I can't deal with the concept of forever, and even if I do like you I still feel nothing, I'm sorry." 

"Don't apologize, and we're fifteen we probably wouldn't last long anyway." "Legth doesn't matter." "Try telling straight women that." "Yeah I'd probably leave you do to your awful jokes." "Well, don't leave just yet, even if this isn't gonna be forever, we can have fun before that, right?" "You want to?" "Sure." The dark haired girl said, sitting a bit closer to Ryujin and wrapping her in the blanket. But Hyejoo knew she'd never find forever love, knew it, although, not all you know is true.

Present Day

Hyejoo had driven Chaewon home, both of them having the intent to stay together for the night, although the impulse to spend the night together had some more questionable motives. But now Wooseok sat on the couch with the intent of lecturing Chaewon for being away so long with someone she barely knew, he'd put on his fake big brother hat and make sure she learned her lesson not to scare him. But of course she expected Chaewon to be alone, and she certainly didn't expect some tall dark-haired girl to have her face buried in her neck - whispering vulgar things into the ear of a very flustered Chaewon. 

"O-oh... Hi, Wooseok." She greated upon spotting her, Hyejoo stood up straight and just sank behind Chaewon, acting nonchalant, and covering her face with her sleeve. "Why is she here?" Wooseok asked, "Oh... I'm Hyejoo, we've met, uh, I don't know." She greeted awkwardly as if she wasn't just in such a compromised position with Chaewon, and offered him her hand to shake it. He gave her a strange look, but accepted her hand shake. "Yeah, Chaewon's told me a little too much about you." "Wooseok!" Chaewon yelled angrily, to which Hyejoo smirked, "Cute..." "Glad you think so, but it was really annoying, but it's good to know it was deserved." Hyejoo looked at him strangely for a second, "Don't worry, I'm gay." he said, "Oh... Thanks," Hyejoo said with a laugh. "Alright well... Wooseok I uh, wanted to award you the award of biggest cockblock in the entire world, and then 'we' should get going." Chaewon said.

Wooseok rolled his eyes, "Fine, I'll let you get to that, just know, you're in big trouble young lady." "Worst big brother ever!" "Oh my god whatever just go have fun." Hyejoo slowly walked to join Chaewon, "Bye dude." "Don't talk to him, Hye! He's being so rude!" "Okay, okay, okay calm down princess, you better be saving that for him and not catch that attitude with me." Hyejoo said sternly whispering the second part, grabbing her arm and pulling her inside her room and shutting the door. "I wouldn't dare." Chaewon said, jumping into her rightful spot in Hyejoo's arms, waiting to be laid down.

"I'll wait up for you, like, I always do." Hyejoo began to sing quietly in Chaewon's ear as she carefully laid the blonde down in her bed, "You're pretty edible, hot sick and tired, like an animal." Her voice sounded heavenly, and somehow heightened the experience, "Follow your shadow, diamonds and rubies, shining red and white," "Keep singing," Chaewon commanded, as Hyejoo lifted up the t shirt Chaewon borrowed, enjoying the other girl's every move. "Night, let's my soul ignite, you're my secret baby, shining through the night."

"I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait~"


	12. Chapter 12

Hyejoo stumbled back to Sooyoung's house from her car she parked in the black parking spot in the garage, it was about nine or ten am, and she was tired. She felt even worse for Chaewon who had to wake up at eight am and go to work as they'd stayed up pretty late last night, (no surprise there) and especially how she had to hide "certain marks" that her uniform left visible. She already felt pretty empty without the presence of Chaewon by her side, but she was fine other than that, felt good not to have a hangover this morning, as nearly the entirety of yesterday especially the night she hadn't a drop of alcohol.

"Someone's been getting laid all weekend and I can't believe it." Heejin said, welcoming Hyejoo inside, "Why are you awake?" "Haven't slept yet." "And not all weekend, just most of it." She said, walking over to the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water. "Water? That girl really softened you up." "It's fucking nine am, who gets drunk at nine am?" "You did." "That was a rough time, but I'm better now, I talked about it, and I'm trying to find ways to feel better," "You told Chaewon?" "Yeah." "How did that go?" "Oh, well..." Hyejoo took a sip of water, instantly feeling her headache feel better. "It went pretty well, well it was messy, but is anything about me ever not messy?" "No, you're messy as fuck, just as a personality trait." "Precisely, but yeah, I think we really bonded there, I mean I thought she was just some tiny cute girl I wanted to mess with, but I think I disproved that time and time again." "Yeah didn't you break our rules just to save her life?"

"Yeah..." "I mean come on, you lied to Sooyoung, put us in imminent danger, broke basically every single rule there is, just because you didn't want us to kill a pretty girl." "Well that's not the whole reason. She didn't seem so scared of me, she didn't look at me like a monster as all of them do, she knew I was unsure of myself, and knew so much with one glance, I just kind of... felt something. That's why I didn't plan on ever seeing her again, not to mention the amount of damage she could have caused."

"Yeah, love at first sight? I get it." Heejin said sarcastically, "Hey, you fell in love with a cop. That's so much more dangerous, I know we trust Hyunjin now, but that was risky." "Ugh fine, go upstairs and listen to your punk shit and stair at the wall or whatever you do, I don't know." "Was planning on taking a nap." "Good, don't bother me," "Wow, seriously, it seems like you have your period twenty-four times a month, just calm down," "Whatever, I need a drink, so you've been pardoned," "I've been? - never mind, bye Heejin." "Byeeee" Then all of a sudden on her way up the stairs she remembered she was so distracted she forgot to take her medicine, or bring it with her at all. "Fuck..." She muttered, as she walked to her room and closed the door, quickly looking for her pills and taking them with her water she had, before realizing it was too late.

She hesitantly walked to Jiwoo's room, pressing her ear to it, making sure there were no questionable things going on in said room, and opened it when she heard silence, Jiwoo sat in her bed a glass of wine in one hand and a book in the other. Hyejoo would have made fun of Jiwoo for reading but was in no state to do so. "U-uh... I was b-busy last night and I d-didn't take my meds, c-can you uh, keep an eye out or something?" She asked, trying to suppress the incoming feelings flooding her mind. "Oh, of course! No problem at all, do you want company?" Hyejoo nodded, before Jiwoo led her back to her own room, wrapping a shoulder around Hyejoo, "Hey, guys, is everything alright?" Yerim asked, walking over to the other pair. "Hye's not doing well," Jiwoo said, as Hyejoo walked over to Yerim giving her a hug, trying her best not to cry.

Yerim was a bit surprised by Hyejoo's usually cold and distant demeaner toward the household members, but hugged her back. "It's okay, Hyejoo." She tried to comfort though she was stunned, "Come on, take a nap, you'll feel better, I know you spent the night at Chae's so you're probably over-tired, it's okay sweetie." Yerim said, taking Hyejoo's hands and bringing her inside the room, letting Hyejoo flop on the bed, "What happened?" Yerim asked turning to Jiwoo, "Nothing bad happened she just didn't take her pills." Yerim was very relived to hear that, she didn't want to have to nurse her sister through a breakdown... again.

They watched Hyejoo closely, making sure all she did was get rest, as the combination of the pills that evened out her chemicals, the severe lack of sleep worsened that, and probably having to leave Chaewon too, even if that seemed small, the girl seriously helped her feel a lot better. Even if they could not be more different, Chaewon understood her, and didn't run away when she confessed what she'd done, and what'd had been done to her. Hyejoo hugged her pillow close to her chest, pretending as if it was Chaewon even if that thought was strange, it comforted her somehow.

xxx

Hyejoo had spent the entire evening on the phone with Chaewon, after sleeping a bit she felt a lot better, and that was very good, as soon as she heard the high-pitched voice on the other line her heart warmed, and it seemed all her problems melted. Chaewon was rambling on about some part of her stuff animal collection, some kind of rare kind of stuffie she could never get her hands on. Hyejoo truly could not care less about stuffed animals, but if Chaewon talked about it, she was delighted to hear it.

She'd basically just let Chaewon talk about whatever she wanted to say, because Hyejoo just wanted to listen to her voice, she was too exhausted to rant about something herself, plus she didn't have too many wholesome hobbies. Her hobbies were a bit more unwholesome, and somewhat destructive. Again, whatever Chaewon was interested in, she'd love to hear about, and all the times Chaewon said "Oh well, you probably don't care." she took that as a challenge. "If you care I do too."

xxx

Well here was an interest she didn't care about, now she had to hear all about Sooyoung's rich people drama, and she just blocked it out. Well now it was a loud drunken discussion between Sooyoung, Jungeun, and Haseul, although she had not a negative thought about Haseul, she was the head of housekeeping and she respected the houseworkers more than the residents. Jungeun and Sooyoung were people she didn't respect as much, although she made no choice other than to respect them, especially Sooyoung who she was eternally in the debt of. But Hyejoo also just hated authority naturally, that's just who she was, the exact opposite of Kahei, who was 100% sleeping with Haseul, it was not subtle, she didn't know why they tried to hide it, there were no rules or judgement here, well, mostly.

There was no taboo of sleeping with your boss here, although, there were unspoken rules, that inner family household members, meaning Heejin, Yerim, Hyejoo, and Sooyoung, somewhat Jinsoul and Jungeun, that it was wrong to be intimate between those household members. Although since they were practically family that thought was gross anyway. It was the time they all spent together, usually Hyejoo just hid in her room and drank alone, but she felt in need of being around people, which was rare, but she did. She hoped maybe one of them could fill the void that the absence of Chaewon created, but that was impossible.

"So, Hyejoo, you have a girlfriend now, right?" Kahei asked, from the other room, noticing that the dark-haired girl was sitting staring off into space and not speaking with the others. Hyejoo looked at Kahei and walked over to sit with her in the living room. "Yeah I do, her name is Chaewon." "You been spending a lot of time together right?" "Yeah, we have. I wish it could be more." "Wow, I mean, I live here, and I never see you, so if you 'want' to spend time with someone that must be a powerful connection." "I'd like to think so." Without her she just felt an intense feeling of loneliness and emptiness, she didn't know why when she didn't feel the same toward anybody. Not toward Eunyoung, Byulyi, other Sooyoung, not even toward Heejin or Yerim, and definitely not Ryujin.

Ryujin. It hurt her to remember that girl. That girl cared about her, and she just broke her heart, by basically pretending to have feelings and then disappearing. Of course, she would have loved to remain ties with her, but she was unable when Sooyoung took her in. But she felt horrible with what she knew Ryujin probably thought of her, times with her were fun, but they were friends, that's all, they could kiss, they could go on dates, then could sit in romantic spots, but you can't materialize real love out of nowhere. That was just impossible.

"Hyejoo?" Kahei asked, then she realized she'd just been staring into space for a bit too long, "Oh sorry, I zoned out." "You okay?" "I guess."

xxx

"You really think that's the answer?!" Heejin screamed, Hyejoo never spoke these days, but her actions spoke loudly. "Hyejoo we love you. Come on, don't do this." Hyejoo was exhausted, she just wanted them to stop yelling, the blood was leaking from her body quickly, and her head pounded. "This is why we have fucking cameras in your room, because we care about you, we don't want you to hurt yourself, I know you haven't been here for long, but you're so young... How could you think this way?" Hyejoo just glared at her, she didn't care, if she did she would have just let Hyejoo bleed out, that's what she wanted. She was stuck here, she had to deal with the stress of the robberies, she missed Ryujin, and she was always pried to share information about her past, life felt pointless when she was just gonna be just as sad the next day, when those memories stayed with her, when people just kept talking.

"Listen Hyejoo, Heejin is not trying to blame you, or be mean, it's just – we trust you, we love you, we want you to be happy." Yerim said, trying to hold in her tears. "I won't be. I hate it here." "Come on, it's better than prison." "But none of it is good, just let me go okay? I'm not worth your time, this life is torture, Yerim. Please..." "It's gonna get better, we're gonna get you help, you're gonna get through this." "God damn it, that will not help me, nothing will, even if it does I can't wait that long, you have to understand, I can't live like this, I can't live with what I did, I-I... Just let me be at peace." "I care about you!" "No. You don't. I won't be happy, take the cameras down, and give me the privacy I need to g-" "You fucking shot yourself, we're not gonna take those cameras down."

Hyejoo began to cry as well, "Please, please, please, I hate it... I can't do this, please..." She begged incoherently. "No. I don't know what made you like this, but I assure you, you'll be happy one day. Just give it time." "I don't have time. I can't wait anymore, I suppressed this inside with the hope that I'd end them and I'd be at peace, but I'm not, and there is only one way out." "Just stop talking like this, you're crazy." "Y-you don't understand... This is so awful, I can't do this, guys please. I'm suffering, don't you get it?" "You will be happy. I promise you."

She rolled over in her bed, clutching the bandages on her stomach and crying into the blankets she bundled herself in. She begged under her breath, knowing they'd never let her do it. "I had these thoughts when I was seven, this is serious." Hyejoo brought up. What could ever make a seven-year-old feel like that? Heejin and Yerim both thought in unison, "Girls, I need a moment." Sooyoung said, walking in the room, immediately making Heejin and Yerim disperse. "Y-you're mad... I-I know you are." Hyejoo said to Sooyoung, hiding herself in the blankets as means to protection. "Shh... I'd never be mad. I love you, Hyejoo," She brown-haired woman said sitting in the bed, removing the blankets from Hyejoo's face and pet her cheek, wiping the tears off them. "Y-you aren't?" "Of course not, why would I be." "He didn't like it when I acted like this." "I am not him, Hyejoo, I'll never be like him, I'll never hurt you I swear, I'm not perfect, but I love you."

"But everyone is like him... And I'm no better." "Hye! How could you say that!? No way, you are nothing like him, none of us are. You may have not done the right thing, but it wasn't the wrong thing, just know that," "B-but I killed hi-" "Good." "Really?" "Yes, now can we talk?" "I guess." "How long did you feel like this?" "Since I can remember, before I even knew what it meant I wanted just to disappear, to see what my parents would think if that happened, if they'd be sad, or if they'd be happy I was gone. And by the time I was a teenager I would fantasize about it all the time, of course the most common fantasy would be to kill everyone else around me before I did it, but I guess I spent my entire life wanting to watch what effect my disappearance would have on people, and the fact I figured they wouldn't care made me only want to do it more. I seriously had no friends, no family, nobody who I didn't want to slit the throat of until I met this girl, a-and you took her away from me."

"I'm sorry, Hyejoo, we can't have anyone who knows the life you lived before, I'm sorry I really am." "Whatever." "Alright, you're hurt, and you're probably tired, you should get some rest." Hyejoo nodded, burying herself in the blankets again, "Aren't you gonna leave?" She asked, "No. I don't trust you alone right now." Hyejoo rolled her eyes, "Don't roll your eyes at me. You know that it's unsafe for you to be unattended." "Whatever, just stop talking." Sooyoung took a deep breath and pet Hyejoo's hair, waiting for her to fall asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

"Girls, we have a problem," Sooyoung said to the main girls, the ones who went on the heists and such, meaning Jinsoul, Jungeun, Heejin, Yerim, and Hyejoo. All of them were confused, they all never had an issue that needed to be addressed in such a way, it had to be bad, they knew that. "You know our rivals? Fucking Heo Solji, she's working to put us out of business, and she's gonna do whatever she can to do it." Sooyoung took a deep breath and leaned on the desk, moving a piece of hair out of her face, "What do we do?" Heejin asked, a scowl growing on her face. "Well, we try to survive and come to a peaceful understanding, or we assassinate her." "I like the second option," Jungeun said, with a smile. "Wow, she said that not even being drunk, I'm impressed." Heejin mocked, "I don't have a problem I swear," she reassured, "Yeah sure." Heejin said unconvinced. 

"Shut up guys, we could all die or be thrown in jail," Jinsoul said, "Jinsoul is right, this isn't helping, we kill Solji, we go free." Yerim said, "But we need to kill Solji before they kill me," "They're gonna kill you?" Heejin asked, "I'm afraid yes." "We won't let them do that," Hyejoo finally spoke, having been thinking for a while. "Exactly, that's ridiculous, you are one of if not THE most powerful woman in the world. They can't do shit," Jungeun added.

"Heo Sol whatever her name is nothing," Jinsoul said, as the energy in the room became a lot more positive. "No, you don't understand, she's a serious threat." "She is?" Hyejoo asked. "Yes, now be extremely careful with who you bring here and who you are outside with. Nobody can talk with anybody outside of this household with the exception of maybe Yeojin and Chaewon, and other than that no, and certainly not alone. The shop is gonna close for the time being and I want everybody training, even if it's for like an hour a week, I don't care, be mindful and protect yourself," They all nodded, at once knowing Sooyoung was serious, this situation was severe. 

Next day:

Hyejoo decided to take Chaewon on one last date before they had to stop seeing each other while they got the mess with the other crime group dealt with. She knew it was for the best of the group to stay as lowkey as possible, trying to be undetected as they planned the assassination of their leader. Hyejoo tapped her fingers against the steering wheel to the rhythm of the song she listened to, all at once remembering her childhood love of Bikini Kill and why she should listen to them more. She enjoyed her last moments of freedom but being happy she'd be able to get her mild frustration out on some people when these plans came to fruition, sure it was wrong to look forward to murdering people, but she didn't want to admit that to herself, even if she wanted to.

But for now, she would reside in the blissful ignorance that'd it all work out, and if it didn't, she'd always have Chaewon. Plus somewhere in some sick part of her mind, she wanted Sooyoung to be killed by someone so she could finally be free, of course, she didn't really want that, but if it did happen, her grieving would be short-lived, at least she thought. She didn't even bother hiding those thoughts anymore, just as she did when she was a kid, those vivid images of strangling everybody whoever caused her one bit of a minor convenience. All those kids she tortured to finally release those feelings she felt as a result of the abuse, but a part of her remembered those days as actually pretty good. "Fuck... I'm losing it." She muttered to herself, she shook her head, trying to shake those thoughts from her mind, and just picture those pure and sweet thoughts she had toward Chaewon. 

"Chaewon, save me..." She muttered again, oh great, now she was a raving lunatic, not just a silent one. How nice it was to feel unsafe if your own mind. "Make me forget..." She begged nobody at all. She'd love to vent to her girlfriend about these awful thoughts but then realized Chaewon would be horrified at what she'd hear. Good, think about that, happy thoughts, happy memories. Eating ice cream with Ryujin in front of the Christmas lights in the park, play fighting with Heejin, every time she was with Chaewon, even if the subject matter was dark. Thinking of those things, not the deranged dirt that filled her mind, she thought she'd kill herself off before it came to this, but Sooyoung had to save her. 

She now knew Chaewon would probably be better with someone who was sane, she'd only lead Chaewon down a similar path if she didn't scare her off. Great. Now she was going to start crying. Why did she have to be like this? Couldn't life just be easy? Didn't help Miss World was playing, "God damn, Courtney, why did you make such an appropriate song for such an occasion?" She said, trying to crack jokes to her make-believe audience to help her feel better. But this was the beginning of another downward spiral. When she got home she'd have to tell people to watch her again. The songs playing in the car only got more emotional as she went along so she just changed it entirely, Sublime, that's better, no more eerily fitting songs about mental decline. "Better..." Luckily she saw herself approaching Chaewon's house. When she arrived at the tan brick town-houses she felt herself immediately feeling better, and those impulses of violence and such just kind of... disappeared. 

She met Chaewon at the door, giving her a kiss and sliding her finger in the belt loop of her shorts in which she used to tug her a bit closer. "Missed you, baby." She whispered, "Aww, you too!" Chaewon said with a vibrant smile. Hyejoo originally had no idea what she'd do with Chaewon today, but then she knew exactly what she'd do. "You wanna go to the park?" The dark-haired girl asked, "Sure! I always took you as more of an indoor kind of person." "Well, I had a friend who we used to get ice cream and look at the lights in the park. Of course, things happened and I can't go out past dark, but you know, we can try." 

"Oh, alright, what happened?" "Official business, sorry." "Ah alright." Chaewon climbed in the passenger side of the car, next to Hyejoo who did the same. Turning the car on, and beginning to drive to the park. Her hand naturally went to Chaewon's thigh, making Chaewon smile and set her hand on top of Hyejoo's, gently caressing it with her thumbing. "Here comes the sun in the form of a girl. She's the finest sweetest thing in the world." She sang along with the song playing, knowing she was making Chaewon blush as she sang the sweet lyrics. "This song is so cute!" Chaewon said smiling. "Glad you think so, people usually criticize me for my taste in music, but jokes on them, they're music is shit." "I mean, I'd never listen to this stuff on my own, but it's no offensive." "Well, there is some obnoxious stuff I like, but this is pretty soft. Well, here. This is one of my favorite songs growing up, but now I just think it's funny. I basically just listen to it for the ever so condescending, that girl thinks she's the queen of the neighborhood." Hyejoo said in a pitchy squeak. "It's pure gold," She said playing the song. "It's also super gay, which is always good." 

"Oh... It's not even that bad." "Oh really?" "Yeah, again, wouldn't listen to it myself, but I'm not disgusted." "How nice of you." "I'm not just being polite," Chaewon said with a laugh, they continued in small talk until they got to their desired destination. They bought the treats they wanted from the ice cream stand and went to sit on a park bench together. "What did you do in school?" Hyejoo asked Chaewon, seeing what a normal, sane person would spend their time doing. "Oh, my dad made me do basically every extracurricular activity that I could possibly do, I played soccer, did cheer sometimes, did a lot of academics and such. But I never really wanted to, I'm glad I did, it was just a lot of pressure." "That makes a little too much sense." "Yeah, he meant well though, didn't like that I was a lesbian though, haven't really talked to him since that." Hyejoo frowned, setting a hand on Chaewon's thigh. 

"Well, that's why my parents did not get along, my dad was a very simple, normal person, he wanted only what was normal, he wore suits every day, never watched tv, was very stern and particular about a lot of things, and my mom was the exact opposite. She was basically a hippie, never shaved, never wore a bra, smoked a lot of weed, and she was just genuinely the best. You kind of remind me of her, just a lot edgier, she more of a "love everybody" kind of person, I miss her a whole lot." "Aww thanks, you're so sweet. Wait, you said you miss her?" "Oh yeah, she got really sick a couple of months ago, she's alive, she just hasn't left the hospital in a long time." 

During their discussion, Chaewon noticed a man in the corner looking at her, she just figured that maybe he somehow recognized her and was trying to figure it out. "Oh, I'm so sorry." "It's alright, I mean even if lose her, I see a lot of her spirit in you, you're amazing." She said with a giggle. "She's not a traumatized murderer though, right?" "No, you can think what you will, but I believe you'll change." "Yeah? I don't think it will be so easy, you know the things that would have to happen for me to do that? If I ever became independent I would be caught by the authorities and hunted down by enemy groups and it'd be a week tops before I was either in prison, executed, or murdered." "Yeah, I figured but having hope never hurt anyone."

"I guess. I'm gonna take our trash and go to the bathroom, I'll be back." Hyejoo said, stepping away from the bench leaving Chaewon alone, she noticed him watching her more intently before he stepped closer. She suppressed the natural anxiety that would come with this kind of behavior as assumed he did recognize her, maybe he was one of her customers. "Now you're friend is gone you wanna get out of here?" "U-uh... No thanks." Oh god. Yeah, this again. Although Wooseok was always nearby when these kinds of things happened, she scanned the area desperately for Hyejoo, knowing Hyejoo would help her.

"Really? I don't think so." He said sitting down with her a little too close to her personal space, his hand gently moved to her knee slowly making its way up. "I-I think I'm gonna go." She said, trying to get up to go find Hyejoo, but as she expected her grabbed her arm, "If you leave you're leaving with me, it's not safe for girls alone in the park, but trust me, I'll do more than keep you safe." She tried desperately to move away from him, to get his hands off her, to find Hyejoo and leave. "You're just being difficult." 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Hyejoo yelled from across the wide path, "Your friend and I are just thinking of getting out of here," "Don't talk to her, don't touch her, don't even look at her, get out of here, right now." "Why? What are you gonna do?" Hyejoo rolled her eyes, checking her belt for her gun just in case she'd need it. "I told you to get out of here." He stood, "Why do you care? She wants to leave with me." Hyejoo laughed, "Yeah, no chance in hell, you obviously didn't talk to her enough to know why, now, I WILL NOT tell you again, get the fuck out of here." "Make me." "Shit, okay." 

Well, she'd be blowing off steam a lot sooner than she thought. She didn't bother with petty threats or things of the such, threats were for weaklings, being all talk was never a good look. Although since it was public and she didn't want to deal with the cops at all, she'd keep it pretty clean to start, just striking him in the face with her knuckles, hoping maybe one strike would deter him. Unfortunately not, now she'd have a field day, of course, the man tried to fight back, but as always Hyejoo was too trained, too strong, too experienced, and there was very little he could do.

As soon as he had fallen on the ground her anger had risen to the fullest level it could. "Jesus Christ, bitch, ask your friend she'll tell you, she wants to leave with me, not some freak." Hyejoo sighed, she didn't know what came over her but within seconds the gun was pressed against his neck. She could hear Chaewon gasp, as Hyejoo pinned him down. "Hye... Don't shoot him, come on, he's learned his lesson." Chaewon pleaded, but her plea fell on deaf ears. "Say it again, dipshit, I dare you." She threatened, "See? She does want to leave with me," "Shut the fuck up! I swear to god, leave her alone, leave me alone, go fuck yourself!" She yelled, pressing the gun into his neck harder. "You wanna get your brains blown out? This is how you do it." 

Chaewon was shocked, Hyejoo was about to kill this man, he was horrible, but death? "Hyejoo, be sensible, put the gun down!" Chaewon yelled again, approaching them. "Yeah, this bitch is fucking crazy! You would be better off with me!" He yelled, "Alright, that's it-" Chaewon in one move of bravery kicked the gun from Hyejoo's hand, she just wanted Hyejoo to calm down, she didn't want to see Hyejoo kill someone in front of her. Hyejoo's gaze shifted upward, unpinning the man from the ground and sat up, giving Chaewon a fierce look, as the man scrambled to his feet and run away.

"What planet do you live on where you think you can do that?" Hyejoo asked her angrily, slowly backing Chaewon to a wall, "He was mine to kill! I could have killed him! How could you deny me that?! What the fuck were you thinking?!" She screamed at the small girl. Chaewon was again shocked, she'd never seen Hyejoo sincerely act in this manner, especially toward her. She cowered backward, trying to shrink, to escape the dark-haired girl's lecture. 

"You absolutely never deny me the release of a kill, do you understand?" She yelled again, Chaewon was speechless, she couldn't believe what Hyejoo was saying, she thought she knew her, but she was a fool. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Chaewon hesitantly nodded, feeling tears form in her eyes, trying to blink them away but failing, then having them roll down her cheeks. "Why would you do something like that? Who I kill is not your business! You think you can fix me, you think I'll get better, you think I'm a good person, well I have news for you, you're a fucking idiot for thinking that." 

"I WANT to kill people, it's the only thing that makes me feel like less of a loser, I guess that's what you want, huh? You want me to just spend all my time feeling like nothing? Because that's how I feel, and that's the only thing that gives me power. And for you to think that you can stop me is so shitty, how could you? Why the fuck did you think that was a good idea?" She yelled, Chaewon longed to tell Hyejoo she couldn't speak to her like this, that this was very inappropriate, but she was scared of what Hyejoo would do. 

Hyejoo sighed, backing away from Chaewon, "We're going to the car." she said walking back to the car. That gave Chaewon a bit to think about what just happened. Hyejoo suddenly appeared less of an untouchable figure that came from her fantasy and more of just another person that was out to hurt her, and that scared her. Now all she could do was cry, knowing Hyejoo's true colors, she wanted to believe Hyejoo was misunderstood so badly. She felt all her hopes be crushed in one second, as the happiness and excitement toward finally finding a lover she enjoyed the company of, faded completely. This was not the misunderstood, humorous, charismatic, but still broken figure from her dreams, this was a monster.


	14. Chapter 14

[extreme self-harm warning, be careful]

Chaewon sat down in the passenger seat, unable to look Hyejoo in the eye, feeling hurt and betrayed, at the same time stupid for trusting her in the first place, knowing what she did, she was in love with a known murderer, she should have expected this. Hyejoo felt herself calm down a little bit but was somehow unable to talk to Chaewon. Her mouth would open but nothing came out, and her face remained emotionless.

The crushing amount of guilt and regret she felt now was almost crushing. But she didn't know how to voice her feelings without seeming manipulative, and she had to at least keep herself halfway together until Chaewon was home. She took Chaewon's body language as a sign to not speak, and just leave an uncomfortable silence, which made her feel that much worse. She let Chaewon walk herself to the door without a word, watching her leave and feeling a piece of her die at that moment. Hyejoo pulled into a parking lot, staring at a brick wall, replaying that moment in her mind. Giving one last effort to not completely break down, but failing. She rested her head against the wheel and bawled until she felt she couldn't cry anymore. She knew it'd be dark by the time she got home, but she didn't care if Sooyoung would yell at her, she already felt so bad she wasn't sure she could feel much worse.

She didn't know what she could do to make this any better, but her impulses only went to one singular idea, and again, her hands moved of their own accord, until the pocket knife was pressed against the soft side of her forearm. She knew it wouldn't help anything, but she couldn't help herself, she felt she deserved it for what she did to Chaewon, and at this point, she just wanted to smash her head against the pavement until she couldn't feel any more pain. The painful but welcome release of the knife sliding into her skin was all she could think about now as she laid back in her seat. "'it's for you, baby girl," She mumbled, the tears sliding down at a slower pace now. "I'm an awful person, I deserve this," She reassured herself, mouthing that phrase as she continued painting her arm red with her blood. 

She threw true love away for the possibility of killing someone, a minor pleasure, sure it made her feel good, but Chaewon was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and she was gone now, and it was all her own doing. "Y-you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, I-I love you," She struggled to breathe, then ultimately coming to one idea. If Sooyoung and everyone were under extreme threat, Chaewon now hated her, for good reason too, there wasn't really much more she could look forward to. Those feelings she felt when she was younger never truly went away, the medication kept her mind from that subject, her family would stop her immediately, even if they removed the cameras from her room.

She pulled a napkin from the glove-compartment and scribbled a messy letter to Chaewon, describing her feelings, not caring if it sounded manipulative, and setting it in her lap as she held the knife to her throat. She was alone in her car in a parking lot, nobody could stop her, this time she'd finally have the release she'd craved her entire life. After she'd had a meltdown in front of her true love, that girl was everything and she destroyed that just for the quick satisfaction of ending a life. "I-I really love you, I swear..." She was more than ready to end it all, but something stopped her, something made her hesitate like she was waiting for something, or in this case someone.

"Hyejoo!" She heard somebody call, she looked out the window seeing Chaewon. She was surprised, that was the last person she expected to see, she didn't even bother trying to hide anything and just tossed the knife into the passenger's side seat and stumbled out of the car, feeling herself breaking down again, she didn't know what she would do, what she would say, she looked crazy, she had one fight with her girlfriend as was about to kill herself in her car, it wasn't a good look. She didn't know if she should feel embarrassed or relieved. But she definitely didn't want this to look like one huge plot for attention or something like the people at her high school did. She couldn't put up with that.

Chaewon was speechless, Hyejoo looked more unstable by the hour now, but after knowing what she went through she felt the need to be patient. Even if she was unable to stand being involved romantically, she felt the need to fix Hyejoo somehow, or at least to just be there for her, as she could tell not many people were. But how the hell was she supposed to tell Hyejoo that at her current state? She couldn't mind that, she had to help.

"G-get away from me, Chae," Hyejoo said, contradictory to her action of pulling the smaller girl into a hug. Chaewon still had no idea what to say, she just watched her girlfriend seriously consider suicide, and she couldn't help but feel it was her own doing. "Th-this isn't your fault, b-but I'm gonna need you to get away from me, okay? This isn't good for you, this isn't working." She stuttered, crying into Chaewon's shoulder. "I agree, this isn't working, but I'm not leaving, you need help." "You can't help me." "I know, but I have to try." "You don't have to." "You saved me, I'll save you." "I said you don't owe me anything, you have to go." "I'm not gonna argue about this. Look, I'm super pissed at you right now, I contemplated never talking to you again, but I saw your car, I wanted to check if you were okay, and you certainly aren't, I need to help you, Hye. I may not always like you, but I will always love you, you know that."

"You can't nothing you can do can change my mind, I've held this in for years, I just can't do it. This is not the first time this has happened, but trust me, it's the last." "You're right, this is the last. You're never gonna do this again right? You're gonna be happy, and I'm gonna get you out of this if it's the last thing I do. You WILL be happy someday, I don't care what you do, or what you tell me, I don't even care if it's impossible, I'll do it." "It is impossible, this is the only way out." "No, it's not!" She yelled grabbing Hyejoo's face to make sure she was paying attention. "I know how hard this must be, what happened when you were younger, what's happening now, I seriously can't believe what you've been through but trust me, it's gonna be better." 

Hyejoo's feet couldn't hold her anymore and she just fell, sitting on the concrete. "I look fucking insane..." "Hey, it's okay, nobody's around." "I was supposed to be home an hour ago, and Sooyoung's gonna be so mad... And then everyone is gonna give me a long lecture about the cutting and it's so annoying, I-I don't know what to do. Not only that but you're mad too..." "I am, but I don't hate you, I won't be mad forever." Chaewon sat down. "Listen, we're taking a break, okay? During that, you need to get your shit together, as I said, I don't hate you, I don't want you to feel bad, I want you to be better." Chaewon said sternly, Hyejoo nodded pitifully, she should have seen that coming. "I promise you," Hyejoo said. Chaewon grabbed Hyejoo's chin, giving her a quick kiss and then walked off. 

She watched Chaewon walk away, watching the blonde not even dare to look back as she walked, it hurt, but she knew it was what she deserved, it was the right thing for Chaewon to do. And she needed to take what she said to heart, she knew she'd do anything for Chaewon, and changing was one of those things. She walked back to her car, cleaning the place a bit, and then grabbing bandages from the glovebox. She wrapped them around her bleeding forearm and wiped away the rest of the blood off with a wet wipe. She scrubbed off all the dried tears, snot, and ruined eyeliner from her face and sat back in her seat, fearfully opening her phone to see the normal text messages from Sooyoung. She gave Sooyoung a call, it being picked up immediately.

"Hey, I lost track of time, I'm alright, I'm coming home now." She said before Sooyoung could lecture her. "Why do I even let you leave now? You scare the shit out of me every time." "I'm sorry, it won't happen again." "You sure?" "Yes I swear." "Good, get home now, you don't want me to start taking stuff away do you?" "Please no..." "Alright, see you soon." "Love you," "Love you." She began her trip home after hanging up. Of course she wanted so badly to cry, Chaewon just basically broke up with her because she was too unstable, but she couldn't, she had to look at it rightfully. She had to remind herself of what Chaewon told her.

"Gotta be better," She said to herself. She didn't know how, she had no idea how she'd "be better". Where would she even start? What would she be better at first? She decided anger management was probably the best place to start, that was the problem she faced most days, of course the lingering hatred of living, and the hatred of everything happening in her mind was a great thing to be better at. The memories of people turning her into a mere object, and the feeling of never truly being a human deserving of anything good, was also a great thing to tackle if she was able to get that far. But she couldn't get professional help, she'd be locked away in either a prison or some sort of hospital if that was the case, she had to be free, absolutely had to, so she'd do this alone, and it would be better that way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is kinda gross

She'd stopped biting her nails

She'd stopped ripping out her hair

She'd stopped picking at her scabs

She'd stopped all her small self-destructive habits.

"Start small," she always told herself, that was the only way to get anything done, although it seemed she'd rediscovered her problem of overworking herself during training and workouts. She used to do that since many didn't realize how bad it was at first, but as soon as she started working to the point of passing out they stopped her from doing that too. So, she decided to take it easy today, not doing much. She'd limited her drinking too, she could cross that off the list, Jiwoo even helped her work on some things. 

On top of that, she finally told everyone, all nine of her housemates what she'd been through. That was certainly freeing, everyone finally understood, and she felt there wasn't much of a need to hide it. Jiwoo gave her the suggestion of expressing her feelings in some way, Hyejoo thought that was dumb at first, she was too much of a badass to have hobbies, of course, that didn't last too long before she violently scribbled away her feelings on pieces of paper, similar in fashion to her haphazard suicide note, just not as desperate. Although, "not as" didn't say much, as all of it seemed rather desperate, but it was an accurate expression, she was. She was extremely desperate. Those papers materialized into songs that she'd sing to herself from time to time but would be caught dead singing, they sounded so needy and so awful.

They were along the lines of "Hey, I really fucked up, and I was shitty to you, but you know, without you I might die, so you really don't have a choice." That was the last message she wanted to convey, even if it's what she felt. She was so confused, part of her wanted, no needed, Chaewon whether it would harm her or not, that half was not concerned with the other's happiness and just had some need for the girl. The other half understood completely, knew why Chaewon did what she did, knew that she was wrong and Chaewon was right to leave her like this. She just wished Chaewon had not given her false hope. 

The days went by and for every hour that passed Hyejoo felt a bit less confident she'd be seeing Chaewon again, and that she'd be alone forever at the sole fault of her own. But just on the off chance Chaewon would talk to her someday, she strayed away from drinking away her feelings as she did, and just smiled and laughed through all the things happening inside her. Sooyoung and everyone had no idea they'd split, no idea that Hyejoo did those things, no idea anything wasn't usual. She knew it'd be better to talk to someone, but it'd be hard to say it, because saying it would mean admitting fully she did it, and she couldn't.

She seriously didn't know what she'd do, and she knew it was only a matter of time before she completely broke. It didn't help the thoughts arising in her mind to make Chaewon pay for the pain she was putting her through. God, she felt sick thinking like that. The fact that the darker part of her took to despising the only thing that could make her happy was disgusting, and that only made her hate herself even more. These were certainly dark times, but of course, you'd never notice from outside observation. 

She seemed to be making leaps and bounds when it came to health, she played music more, she took care of herself better, she didn't drink, she seemed so happy. And that was the most painful part, everyone saying how proud they were for her cleaning up her act when she felt the worst she'd felt in quite some time. She had to heavily restrain herself from screaming when people asked why she hadn't been seeing Chaewon lately, and why she never talked about her anymore. It was only a matter of time for her, there was only so much more of this she could talk before her internal caving appeared on the outside.

She heard a knock on her door. "Yes?" She asked, putting on a smile and getting up to greet whoever was at the door, to find Sooyoung, she looked pretty scared and like she was about to bring the most grave of news. "Hyejoo, I need to talk to you about something, and I know you're gonna freak out," Sooyoung said gently, knowing the weight of the words she'd be saying, as she led Hyejoo to her couches."Okay?" "Just know, I'm here for you, alright?" What could possibly be so bad? "So, Heo Solji and her goons have planted their first strike on us, uh, particularly you." Hyejoo raised her eyebrow, hoping whatever this was, was just something she didn't care about, and it wouldn't make her feel worse, come to think of it, she wasn't sure she could feel worse.

"Th-they took her, Hyejoo, Chaewon, she's gone."

"You're lying." Hyejoo said bluntly, ignoring her sinking heart. "I truly wish I was." Hyejoo stood, looking at Sooyoung in the eye, "You're fucking lying to me, tell me, you are." "I'm not, I'm so sorry, kiddo," Sooyoung had already prepared for the biggest meltdown in Hyejoo's long history of meltdowns and was not pleasantly surprised. "I'm so sorry this happened, you seemed so happy, and now this?" "I wasn't! I was never happy! I will never be happy because you manipulated me into this when I should have just shot myself in the streets, Chaewon was the only person that made me feel like I had a future, and I fucked that up." "This isn't your fault Hyejoo." Sooyoung said trying to ignore the other allegations. "I can't talk about this, because you're still lying to me, this is some sick joke, so shut the fuck up."

"It's not a joke! I'm serious, please understand, I'm doing the best I can to find her and plan a mission to get her back." Hyejoo didn't know what to think now. "C-could you leave?" She asked politely trying to keep those feelings in a little bit longer, "If I leave you promise not to do something stupid?" Hyejoo nodded, wiping the tears that streamed down her face. Although now she felt there was a reason to feel so bad, and she realized she'd not only been verbally abusive but is somewhat responsible for this too.

"fuck it." She whispered to herself after Sooyoung left. Grabbing the bottle of liquor from her bedside drawer and draining it within the span of an hour as she paced around her room and sobbed to herself. Just when she thought Chaewon couldn't make her any more of a mess she was proven wrong time and time again. In a moment of seething anger, she hurled the empty glass bottle at the wall and watched it shatter. She felt like screaming and her head ached, the realization only just hit her. They could be hurting her. What kind of hurt was a whole other anxious tunnel she could go down, the more she thought, the worse she felt, but she just kept walking until she felt she'd collapse from exhaustion or drunkenness. 

Oh great. Now that she'd drank all of that, now it was time to cough it all back up. Ugh she hated this, and at her current state she wasn't sure she'd make it, she stumbled through the bathroom door losing her footing and smashing her head on the bathroom sink immediately falling unconscious. Embarrassingly so, this would not have been the first time, this was more frequent than she would have liked to admit, how many times either Jiwoo or Sooyoung had to clean her up, scrape her off the floor and put her back in bed was astounding. Now she missed that brief time she didn't drink and realized that it made her feel better, but she spent a lot more time feeling worse. 

By the time she woke up Jiwoo or Sooyoung had done just that, removed her from the pile of her blood, vomit, and tears cleaned her up and set her in her bed. And upon regaining consciousness she was confronted with the harsh reality that instantly made her cry again. She felt just as awful as she did last night, if not worse, and she missed Chaewon more than ever. She spotted someone half-asleep on the couch and recognized Jiwoo, Jiwoo would normally be in her quarters waiting for Sooyoung to need something from her, but instead was here.

Hyejoo didn't know how she formed such a bond with someone with such a profession, and even though they got along very well sh still turned up her nose to the thought of Jiwoo and her job around the house, but when she opened up to Hyejoo about being in love with Sooyoung her thoughts changed. How painful it would be to be in love with someone who just kept you around for sex and treated you like a mere object, must be awful, so then they'd been inseparable ever since. Jiwoo realized Hyejoo had woken and snapped awake. Her face falling as she watched the dark-haired girl cry. "Aww, it's okay, sweetie." She said walking over and giving Hyejoo a hug. "Does your head still hurt?" "I-it's sore, but that doesn't matter." 

"Want me to kiss it better?" "You guys baby me so much, I don't get it." "Well, you are a baby, now come here," Jiwoo said planting a soft kiss on Hyejoo's bruised forehead. "How about you go shower and I'll braid your hair and we can talk about what's bothering you, just like we used to." No matter how much Hyejoo denied it, that was one of her favorite things to do when she was younger, back when she rarely talked to anybody Jiwoo was somebody she could talk to, and having her hair played with was always something that comforted her when she was upset. "Okay," She said sniffling and wiping her face, before going to the bathroom, seeing Jiwoo cleaned up whatever mess she made. She turned on the water and removed her clothes before getting in. 

The warm water beating down on her back also felt comforting, and it made her smile knowing Jiwoo never forgot their favorite activity when she was younger. Since she was barely fifteen when she was adopted in. By that time she'd been alone for so long, had a girlfriend, had already picked up drinking, and had killed people, she didn't feel very young or innocent, but the little things her and Jiwoo did made her feel more normal, and that kind of relationship was something she needed after never being loved by her parents. Soon the tears she still shed mixed with the water from the shower. She didn't think she'd ever be able to stop, no matter what happened the fear of them harming Chaewon was always so present she couldn't help but shake.

If the breakup didn't destroy her, this certainly did, and she had to get back to Jiwoo before she lost it. In time, she turned the water off, put her clothes on, and allowed Jiwoo to brush out her hair. Hyejoo cried to her about the reason they hadn't been talking and what happened. "Oh come on, Hye, I thought you were better than that." "I-I know, I feel awful," But as soon as she informed Jiwoo of what she'd done in the car Jiwoo turned her around and pulled her in a tight hug. "What you did was awful, but nothing you do deserves that, you're a good kid, you try hard to be good I know you do, I know your surroundings don't allow that and that really messes with you. But it's okay, I swear. I'm sure Chaewon has told you this but you're gonna make it out of here someday." Hyejoo felt choked up again at the mention of her name and also felt betrayed that two of her favorite people on the earth lie to her so often.

It was now late into the night, Sooyoung had pulled everybody aside so they'd take turns on the night shift keeping watch over Hyejoo since they no longer trusted her ever since word of the incident in the car got spread, she would have been angry with Jiwoo for spreading private information but she couldn't be. The first night was provided by Heejin, who was extremely reluctant to do it, especially because she wanted her "quality time" with Hyunjin, and was certainly not interesting in sleeping on the couch, but of course, she came around realizing protecting her sister was more important than sex and not having a sore back in the morning. 

The dark room provided no light, the thick curtains blocked out any of the moonlight and there were no lights in the entire room. The only thing that pricked her senses was the faint whimper from the bed. She was in half a mind to tell Hyejoo to get over it, she'd been crying for a whole day she had to stop sometime, but also that her heart melted and she felt guilty seeing her like this. She was no stranger to tears from the dark-haired girl, she could easily be described as a crybaby, cried at movies, cried when injured, cried during minor inconveniences. But this was different, this was dark, deep, painful sadness, and it was hard to witness. 

After a bit, Heejin felt her own eyes water and she cursed herself for being soft in the middle, she clenched her fists together, being so close to telling Hyejoo to shut up, but she caved in. She stumbled toward Hyejoo's bed and laid next to her on top of the blanket, moving one of two braids from the place she would lay her head, "Heejin... What are you doing?" "God, trying to comfort you, and if this is uncomfortable for you, it's SO much worse for me, so shut up and be cuddled." "It's not uncomfortable, it's just weird for you to do it." "Yeah, no shit sherlock." "Shut up, I'm trying to sleep." "Good night, I love you." "You what?" "I love you, take it or leave it." "I love you too," Hyejoo said with a small smile and snuggled up to Heejin, surprisingly being hugged back. "You really are soft on the inside." "Do you want me to leave or not?" "No." "Then be quiet."


	16. Chapter 16

Sooyoung spent long days in her office, planning out how she'd assassinate Heo Solji. The target at the back of her head, Chaewon's abduction, it was all far too much, this had to end, and soon at that. Although the execution of such a plan could not be sloppy. No mistakes could be made. Or else they'd all end up dead. She eventually did enough research and planning that she could start preparing the girls for what would probably be the most difficult mission of their lives. Although she knew they'd do it, as they weren't just fighting for Sooyoung but Hyejoo too.

"Haseul," She said, to the brown-haired woman as she passed through the halls. "Yeah?" "Pass these out to the girls, it's urgent." "Yes, ma'am." She said grabbing the papers. Haseul walked to the kitchen where Kahei sat, "Be there in a second just gotta give these out." Haseul told her, "Alright, your room right?" Kahei asked, to which Haseul nodded. Kahei gave Haseul a thumbs up before turning back to her phone. Haseul made her way up the stairs purposefully skipping Hyejoo's room and saving it for last. She went to Jinsoul and Jungeun's room first, knocking and waiting the amounted time before opening it.

"Hi guys, Sooyoung told me to give you these." Jinsoul stood, "They're about Solji?" "Yes," the black-haired girl nodded and took the papers and brought them back to her bed where Jungeun lay with intentions to go over them together. Next was Heejin and Yerim, who were usually together, but luckily Heejin and Yerim wouldn't be up to anything objectionable so it'd be quick. She went to Yerim's room first, finding it empty, Haseul assumed maybe they'd be in Heejin's room, but that was empty too. Haseul sighed knowing the room she had to look in next was Hyejoo's.

She knocked, waited, and entered. Heejin, Yerim, and Hyejoo sat in bed together, it was obvious Heejin and Yerim were distracting their younger sister from the grief but it wasn't quite working as Hyejoo still looked as upset as ever. "Uh, papers detailing the mission to assassinate Heo Solji." With that Hyejoo perked up. "You mean, where Chae is?" "All in the papers, kiddo" She sprung up to go get that papers looking the happiest she had in quite some time. Upon bringing them back to the bed with her sisters. 

The papers detailed the plan, what was expected of every girl, it was in-depth, thought out, and meticulous, and in red pen at the bottom of the page read, "DO NOT MESS THIS UP". She wouldn't, Hyejoo knew that there was too much pressure to mess up, this was life or death for everyone that she loved, and that meant so much. 

....

She wore a sickening smile as she beat the life out of the punching bag. She now had a new lease on life and was more motivated to kill than ever, which could either be bad or good depending on the circumstance. She'd been working all day and she didn't even care she was tired. She didn't even feel her swollen fists anymore, they were completely numb, and every time her knuckles bled she'd only bandage them more with the mentality she'd deal with the injures later. Nothing had fueled her like this since the moment she'd murdered her parents, and it was that kind of rage that led to such violence and homicidal tendencies.

"When you sent me off to see the world~" She began to sing, trying to take her mind off the pain she felt. "Were you scared that I might get hurt?" Smack, her bloody hand hit the bag, "Would I try a little tobacco?"Smack" Would I keep on hiking up my skirt?" Smack "I'm hungry" Smack "I'm dirty" Smack "I'm losing my mind! Everything's fine!" She screamed as she hit the bag so hard a bit of blood splashed back at her. That made her feel better, the pain felt worth it. "I'm freezing" Smack "I'm starving" Smack "I'm bleeding to death! Everything's fine!" 

The more blood stained the punching bag, her clothes, her face, the better she felt. She had a primal desire to watch something bleed at this point. Her legs wobbled, her eyes filled with tears, and her hair became stringy with the sweat and blood that covered her body. This was truly the most satisfied she'd been in quite some time. 

So she'd do it the next day

The day after

As long as she needed to

"Cool it, Rocky. Look, you gotta stop sometime." Sooyoung said leaning in the doorway, "Never." Hyejoo said, completely out of breath. "Come on, come drink with us tonight," "I can't drink, it's not good for me." "Since when can you not drink? Something happened to you." "Yeah, it's called 'you let those cunts kidnap the love of my life.' You should be happy this isn't you." Hyejoo said, relaying a particularly hard punch to the bag, the bag in question had been coated in blood from her split knuckles. "I didn't let them; I had no idea they'd do that." "Sure you did. Get outta my face." "No, I'm not leaving until you take a break, you don't stop until you blackout, do you understand how unhealthy that is? You aren't helping anyone by hurting yourself like this, this is no better than the cutting, Hyejoo, you know that right? Do you seriously think Chaewon would want you to do this?" "It doesn't matter what she wants, she wants to go home, and this is the only way."

Sooyoung took a deep breath "Listen to me!" she snapped, grabbing Hyejoo's arm. "You're gonna wake up the day of the mission and you won't be able to get out of bed you'll be so tired, get the fuck upstairs and go to bed, right now. No training tomorrow, you're gonna take a break tomorrow, you're grounded, no leaving your room, and if you threw a tantrum about it, you aren't going on the mission, do you understand?" Hyejoo was stunned, this was the last thing she wanted to hear. "I can't do that, Sooyoung." "Then you aren't going." "You can't do that!" "Yes I can, I will not let you do this to yourself, get upstairs right now." Hyejoo felt the unbelievable need to find things to destroy but restrained herself, she couldn't not go, it was the rescue mission for Chaewon, if she didn't go it'd be pointless.

"F-fine," Hyejoo said, letting Sooyoung walk her upstairs to the living room, then up the curved stairs to her own room. "Take a shower and go to bed, I'll be back in an hour to check on you." Hyejoo leaned against the sink in her bathroom, her body truly did ache, and she hesitated to remove the bandages from her hands, scared of the damage she'd see. 

She had no more skin on the knuckles it seemed, completely split open, she winced washing the dried black blood off her hands. She then turned to the shower taking off her sports bra and basketball shorts then washing all the blood and salty sweat from her body, and then just sitting down on the floor of the shower letting the water pound her back. She was so angry, but she couldn't do anything. The more she thought about it though, she was going insane in that room. How was she supposed to fight with such sore fists? How was she supposed to do anything when she constantly pushed her body beyond its limit and stressed herself out so much?

Some part of her mind wondered that if when she did save Chaewon from those monsters if she'd still be mad. Part of her was terrified of this, the other would take her and make her forgive her. She had to silence those second thoughts, how could she possibly think something so sick? Although she had such thoughts quite often, she couldn't silence them, it seemed impossible, a part of her brain actually considered things like that, she hoped maybe when Chaewon was back she'd be able to erase the disgusting, perverted part of her brain. But then she knew that she'd probably be unable to.

That made her wonder, maybe it really was a better idea for Chaewon to keep her distance. Now she had to shake those thoughts from her mind too. What was happening to her? Well, this had been in the process of happening for a while, it was no secret that she was losing her mind. She'd been feeling the decline for quite some time, she knew it was happening but didn't know how to tell anybody about it.

Now that she'd toweled off and dressed, she could only lay in bed which was so boring. So she spent the rest of the day playing guitar and trying to ignore the fierce pain in her hands when she moved her fingers. She was restless, she was unable to sit still, the stakes were too high for her to be slacking even if it was the best thing to do. God, this was painful, she still didn't know what to do about all this time she spent alone and thinking. "Ain't found a way to kill me yet~ Eyes burn with stinging sweat~ Seems every path leads me to nowhere~ Yeah they come to snuff the rooster~ Yeah here comes the rooster~ You know we ain't gonna die, no, no, no, no we ain't gonna die" 

It was the only thing that could possibly take her mind off it, this was truly torturous. She was going crazy in that room without information. Her mind filled with all the awful possibilities that could occur, now she could only confide in the pipe between her lips, but even that didn't seem to give her comfort. Now she just had to bide time till the mission and hope she didn't go crazy.


	17. Chapter 17

The second her leather boot-clad feet smashed through the window; she was ready to kill everyone in sight. This mansion was bigger than their own, and it was probably fuller, which was good since she stored up so much emotion for this moment. The loud sound of the helicopter in the background combined with a couple more people breaking in through the windows was loud, but Hyejoo had never been more clear-headed in her entire life. She knew what she had to do, and she'd do it, she'd do it or die.

The first room was empty, but she saw someone out of the corner of her eye, this person was not their own, so they were immediately shot. With that came a tinge of satisfaction that made her lips curve upwards ever so slightly. Shameful. She thought to herself, she then felt quick guilty and frustrated that she felt that way about something so cruel. It's vital, and if I like it, that's good. She reassured herself. She couldn't help but smile though, despite the internal war that was happening, but she blocked it out immediately, "Stay clear-headed..." she mumbled to herself as she shot two more people, making her way through the house.

"You have a job to do..." She fired two more times, killing two of their men instantly. "Fuck yes..." She said under her breath, letting that side of her brain take control of her. "H-Hey I-I'll help you, M-miss, please don't shoot." Said a younger man who had sat up from the table putting his hands above his head. "Ah yes... Beg me to spare you..." She mumbled as she pulled the trigger, splattering his brains on the wall behind them. She hadn't missed yet, even the people in motion had been a perfect shot to the temple. Her training definitely paid off.

A couple more people down as she made her way to the heart of the mansion. Knowing now the core is where they were holding Chaewon. "Hey! You! You can't be here!" She heard an oddly familiar voice from behind. Which made her turn around instantly preparing to fire, but what she saw changed her mind immediately. She gasped aloud at who was behind her. "R-Ryujin?" She asked, sliding off her skull mask to show Ryujin her face. It seemed Ryujin was also shocked. "Hyejoo..." They both had many questions, "You know what, I ain't got a lot of time, I don't shoot you, you don't shoot me, if we're both alive by the end of this we'll talk about it later, sound good?" "I-" "I don't have time," She interrupted and continued running through the house.

She tried her best not to think about it only focus on how good she felt this day. Each death made her feel stronger like she grew with each shot. Her childhood friend and girlfriend could not distract her no matter how crazy it was. She slid the mask back over her face as she shot many more of their men with perfect accuracy. "You came to my room at night, you hurt me, you're dead... You told me everything was okay, you lied, you're dead..." She mumbled, now not only a lunatic but a raving lunatic, pacing the halls looking for a next kill. "Was it worth it?" She asked the walls as if they'd answer in the voices of her parents.

"Tell me, was it worth it? We're you surprised when I snapped? I couldn't have been yours forever." She muttered again as the blew a couple more of their men's brains out. Nobody had even tried to aim or fire at her at all, she for once felt unstoppable and in control of her surroundings, nobody could hurt her, she was on top, she was the one people feared. God, it felt great to finally have power. She couldn't think about Ryujin, she couldn't think about other's lives, she couldn't think about anything other than Chaewon and the great feeling of killing.

She was so close to saving the love of her life from those criminals just to entrap her all over again. Part of her liked it, part of her wanted Chaewon to hate her for the wrong reasons, for the primal need to abuse something, her other half wanted Chaewon to hate her so she'd keep her distance. Whichever way she'd be happy. Although, Chaewon would never be happy with her, maybe early on, but she was so far gone now she didn't know if she could love still, she only wanted to destroy.

"Please run from me... Please make me feel like I hurt you... I want to hurt you..." She mumbled. immediately feeling sick with the words that left her lips. "Promise you'll hurt me worse..." "Hye!" Heejin yelled as the three of them met in front of the holding room. Her heart pounded knowing Chaewon was on the other side of that door. There were a couple of bloody bodies slumped against the wall, "We'll let you go, if something goes wrong we got your back, kiddo." Yerim said patting Hyejoo's shoulder. Hyejoo nodded, wiping the weak smile from her face and kicking open the door.

This was all happening. They would all die. And she would get Chaewon back from those monsters. She also hoped within some chance a bullet would meet with her brain and Chaewon would be free from anything that could cause her pain. As soon as the door opened she saw only two standing in between her and her prize. She shot the two unsuspecting men, and was confused and sceptical it was that easy, although only one thing mattered.

She looked down at Chaewon sitting on the floor, her one wrist cuffed to the radiator, with her knees to her chest, barely even sparing an upward glance. It was as if all her alterior problems melted away into nothingness when she saw Chaewon. The blonde dared look up, scared whoever shot the men would shoot her too, but gasped when she recognized the mask and the green tips of her hair. Hyejoo raised the gun making Chaewon flinch, then she shot the chain part of the cuff off, severing it down the middle of the chain. 

They stared at each other for a bit, neither knowing what to say. 

Chaewon had been saved once again by Hyejoo, it was just like when Hyejoo set her free, she'd never forget that night, and she'd never forget this one either. Hyejoo slowly removed her mask, dropping to her knees and wrapping Chaewon in a hug which Chaewon accepted with no thought. She squeezed the dark-haired girl for all it was worth, she didn't care if she was still angry at her, she didn't care that she realized when they were apart (even if she would miss her) the world would be better off if Hyejoo was locked away somewhere. 

She was grabbing onto one of the most dangerous people in the world and she most certainly did not want to let go. Hyejoo would always be Hyejoo to her, the one that played the guitar, the one that would watch her cutesy shows even if she herself didn't like them, the one that put her life, job, and moral code on the line to save her. She still couldn't come to terms with the fact that this Hyejoo was not good, she wanted to believe so bad, but there was no way she could do that. She wasn't insane, she knew, but she couldn't care, she just couldn't find it within herself to tip the police or separate from this evil person, even if it'd result in many more deaths, maybe even her own.

"I-I'm so sorry" She heard Hyejoo whisper, "For everything. I really hope you know that. But do me a favor and don't forgive me. I don't deserve that. And you're not gonna like this, but I don't care. It's not the trauma, the dreams, or loneliness anymore, I'm sick Chae, I'm really fucking sick, and somehow I only realized that today, when all this is over I'm taking you home, but I'm not going home. I want to die knowing you're safe, when you were gone I just couldn't do it no matter how much I wanted to because they could have been hurting you, but you're gonna live your life. I love you so much, but you shouldn't love me, it's not worth it."

"I know, I know you're sick, but hang in there, I can't control you, you can do what you want, but I want to remember you as a good person, I don't care if it's not true, I want it to be." "Don't lie to yourself, that's going to make this so much harder." "I told you I don't care. You know I don't have romantic feelings towards you anymore, you know that I know what you are, but that doesn't matter, I'd be dead with out you, and that means something." "Oh... Y-you don't?" "Of course not! How could you ever think that? Do you remember what you did? Because you must be absolutely brain-dead to think that." Hyejoo looked off to the side, she realized how naive she was. Chaewon was absolutely right, still, why did it hurt so much? 

That's all she needed to hear to realize that no, there really wasn't going to be more pure joys in her life, and that she was bound to just be miserable the rest of her existence. Now she really had no more hope. "Are you seriously crying?" Chaewon asked, visibly annoyed. Hyejoo pulled back from the hug. "I'm sorry, this is stupid, you're right, how could I ever think that." She stood to help Chaewon up so they could get out of here, as soon as she turned around she saw Ryujin at the door. "Hyejoo, I'm sorry, but you just killed half my comrads and I have a job to do, I gotta at least make it look like I tried." She said with a laugh, "Now you can die having your heart broken like you broke mine, you fucking dissapeard out of nowhere, I thought we could have been something." She turned to Chaewon, "Good on you, dump this dipshit." 

She pulled the gun from her belt and everything seemed to happen so quickly, when she pointed, aimed it, cocked it, and... "Bang..." Hyejoo whispered to herself as she felt the bullet penetrate her stomach. "As for you, I'll let you leave with those other assholes, we only needed you for bait, don't worry." She said quickly running from the room. Chaewon just watched with wide eyes. "Hyejo-" "Shut the fuck up and let me die, I don't want to hear what you have to say, get out of here," She grumbled, the pain was unbearable, just how she wanted it to be, come to think of it, she didn't deserve slow, she deserved bloody and gruesome, this was close enough. But just the very thought of somebody hacking her up made her smile, she needed this, this was best. "I-I'm sorry princess, I don't know how much longer I will be awake for, but I love you so much, and I never won't, you tried so hard to save me, I'm sorry you couldn't do it..." 

Why the fuck wasn't she moving? Why didn't she tell someone? Why didn't she do something? Hyejoo was dying right before her and she did nothing. "Hye are you done?" Sooyoung asked, stepping in the door but gasping at what she saw. "O-oh my god!" She cried, tears pricking at her eyes at Hyejoo's dying body. Sooyoung frantically knelt down and checked Hyejoo's pulse, thankfully, she was alive but barely. "H-how long?" Sooyoung asked Chaewon, "Only a couple seconds, I... I didn't know what to do, sh-she said she wanted it... I'm so confused." "Yerim is outside, get her for me, fast." 

Chaewon nodded standing and walking outside spotting Yerim and calling her over. Yerim had a similar response, but a different more correct idea. "We gotta get her out of here." Yerim said, tears falling from her face too. She looked at Chaewon, confused as to why she wasn't hysterical, she didn't even look that upset, and Chaewon couldn't tell you the answer either, she just wasn't, she just didn't feel anything. She was conflicted, Hyejoo wanted this, Hyejoo was better off dead if she'd just keep killing and killing. But of course, Hyejoo was and would always be a savior of sorts, someone she felt so awful for, and just to think, none of this would be happening if she was born to different parents. She couldn't blame her, no matter if it was right.

She was frozen now as Sooyoung lifted Hyejoo in her arms and Yerim clutched at her hand. "I-I love you, Yerim..." She groaned, before coughing and staining her lips with blood. "I love you too, everything's gonna be okay." "Please don't lie to me..." She mumbled as tears began running down her face again. "We aren't lying, Hyejoo! Please don't say that." Yerim stressed as they ran back to the helicopter, Chaewon following closely behind them. But she wasn't there, she was completely lost in her own thoughts, thinking everything completely through as she was incredibly confused.

"Where is Heejin?" Yerim asked all the other girls, when they all got seated inside. "Jinsoul too," "I thought they'd be coming with you guys." Haseul said, trying to keep her eyes and mind off Hyejoo, and everyone else panicked and greifed. "We can't wait much longer, talk to them," Yerim said to Haseul who put her face to the mic. "Heejin? Heejin are you there?" She couldn't hear anything but static. Little did they know that was a message Heejin would never answer.

"YOU FUCKING SHOT HER?" Heejin screamed, chasing Ryujin quickly, she was gaining on her, and could practically taste the blood. "She had it coming." "THAT WAS MY SISTER YOU FUCKING BITCH!" She screamed once more, she spotted a chandelier and pointed her gun at it, she shot it down letting the bulbs all shatter on the floor before Ryujin so she couldn't escape. "Do not fuck with my family," Heejin said pointing the gun at a seemingly unfazed Ryujin. "Sick em," Ryujin whispered as she heard a gun cock behind her. 

A woman who looked a bit younger with long brown hair pointed the gun at her, but instead of killing her instantly she shot at her thigh, and Heejin dropped to the floor. She was met with a foot in her neck as she cried in pain, Ryujin shot a hole through her hand restricting her use of the gun, making Heejin scream again. "Don't mess with my family either." Ryujin said manacingly, before pulling the trigger and letting Heejin's brains spill out on the marble floor. 

"Jinsoul? Do you copy?" Haseul said into the microphone, "Oh god! Oh god!" She heard an exclamation on the other end. "Th-they got her, Haseul! Heejin she-she..." Jinsoul yelled. The entire place went silent. The first one to make any noise was Yerim who just fell to her knees in sobs. Yerim seldom cried, she was always smiling, always finding something to be happy about, but someone she viewed as her other half, her best friend, her sister, was dead. 

Soon everyone began crying if they weren't already crying due to Hyejoo's injury. Sooyoung helped Yerim off the floor and gave her a tight hug, petting her hair. Heejin and Yerim were inseparable, they were always together, despite how different they were. If either of them were close with Hyejoo, they were that and so much more with each other. But somebody took her from Yerim, and Yerim would never get her back. But everyone was glad Hyejoo was knocked out, she'd be livid, then they'd have to deal with the youngest's out of control temper.

Now there was barely any bright side to look on, and they all knew life at home would be tragic, even more so if Hyejoo didn't live. Everything, and everyone, was falling apart, and it seemed nothing could be done to stop it.


	18. Chapter 18

Hyejoo sat in Sooyoung's office, her anger had been building up for quite some time while she heard Sooyoung lecture her. "What does it say at the bottom of this page? Read it to me." Sooyoung asked, holding the paper she gave Hyejoo for the mission. "Do not mess this up..." Hyejoo said, not wanting to look at Sooyoung. "And what did you do?" "I messed it up..." "Exactly, your job was to get Chaewon and not leave witnesses, and what did you do instead?" "Left a witness..." "And what happened because of that?" "She shot me and killed Heejin..." "Do you understand what you've done?" "I- Yeah."

"What did you do?" "I let Heejin die." "Exactly. No more missions until you've proven your head can stay clear, you can't drink with us, pretty sure neither Yerim nor Hyunjin ever want to speak to you again, just stay upstairs and keep to yourself, understand?" "Yes." 

"Anything you want to tell me?" "I'm sorry." "No, I don't want that. Aren't you gonna protest like normal?" "No. There is no point, I don't care, I really don't, nobody likes me, my mind is broken, I don't even have a girlfriend anymore, I don't have a reason to leave." "Don't give me that-" "And you know what? You did that, you made me kill people, you are the reason I won't be happy, I didn't have a drinking problem before you, I didn't have a drug problem before you, and I didn't seriously consider killing everybody I didn't like before you. Do you see what's happened to me? That's your fault! You put all this work in to make sure I wouldn't kill myself but didn't even know you were the reason? Why do you even try?"

"Hyejoo," Sooyoung said disapprovingly, warning her not to rant further. "I swear Jiwoo is the only person in this god damn house who cares about me, and you treat her like shit, did it ever occur to you maybe she only took that position because she's in love with you? You're blind, you're selfish, you're ignorant, and so fucking clueless to what you've done to me. You did this! You did this!" She yelled standing and setting her hands on the table, leaning forward at Sooyoung. "Okay, go upstairs, I don't want to hear anything from you for the rest of the day. Don't make me escort you out." 

Hyejoo shook her head, hurt that Sooyoung didn't even think to apologize or at least defend herself. She walked out quickly without a word. Her worst nightmare (Chaewon) sat in her very own room, so she first went to the one across the hall, Jiwoo's. "I-I don't have time to explain..." She said, walking inside and sitting on the bed next to Jiwoo where she sat, before burying her face in Jiwoo's shoulder when provided the opportunity. "Oh god... She's right it's all my fault..." Jiwoo heeded the warning, knowing not to ask questions but just to calm the younger girl down before trying to engage in discussion. 

"shhh." Jiwoo shushed while petting Hyejoo's hair. Jiwoo did know how harsh Sooyoung could be and more than anything knew how sensitive Hyejoo was, especially since she'd lost her sister and her girlfriend, this was probably not a good time to be lectured. At some point, she was able to calm down at least enough to stop crying. "Sooyoung was wrong, that wasn't your fault, sweetie, you didn't mean that. She had no right to tell you that, that's so cruel. Just remember, Sooyoung loves you, she'll come to her senses eventually, she's just having a really rough time, she still shouldn't take it out on you, but I swear, she didn't mean it." 

"I don't care, Jiwoo, I don't want to do missions anymore, all I want to do is to find a house and live a normal life with Chaewon, I know that's what she wants too, although, at this point, I don't think she wants that with me anymore." "She'll come around too, she knows how hard you try to keep it together, I know everything will work out, Hye." "Thanks," Hyejoo leaned in and gave Jiwoo a kiss on the cheek before leaving the room. Her stomach twisting in knots as she braced her hand over the doorknob. 

She opened it and all of the resentment just came back to her. "Why are you still here?" She angrily asked Chaewon who sat at the foot of the bed on her phone, paying very little attention to Hyejoo but still being present which was confusing. "You obviously don't want to be around me, so why are you here?" "I don't trust you alone." "Why do you even care about that?" "Jesus, just because I don't want to be romantically involved with you anymore doesn't mean I don't care about you." "Whatever, just know I feel really fucking bad, and it's gonna get messy," Hyejoo said grabbing the bottle from her bedside table. 

"Do you have to drink to solve your problems." "Drinking don't do shit to solve issues, it just makes me forget them. " "Yeah, that sounds bad." "You think? Now shut up and let me have a fucking meltdown, alright? I don't want you to see me like this, go sit downstairs or some shit." Chaewon furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you sur-" "Yes! Go away! Nobody wants you here!" "Hye, you can't talk to me like that remember?" "Shut up! I don't care! You said you don't even like me anymore, what's left to hide? I'm a fucking monster, get used to it, or get the fuck out!" 

Chaewon took a deep breath, standing up and looking up at Hyejoo. "What's wrong?" She asked gently. "What? What's wrong? Everybody I've ever loved hates me, that's what's wrong." "Nobody hates you, Hye-" "I got Heejin killed, how could they not? Worst of all I can't even go kill, how am I supposed to..." Hyejoo trailed off. "Oh god... What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm no better than they were. Tell me, tell me, Chaewon, tell me how awful and evil I am, I need to hear it, you know I do..." "No, of course, you aren't! You could never do anything like your parents did, you're so much better than that!" 

"Am I? Because I don't think so, all I want to do is push you on the bed and make you know the pain you put me through. I'm not better, I'm just like them, Chae." Chaewon gasped and took a step back, "Run away. Run away before I do something crazy." "Y-you wouldn't..." "I could. Hell, it'd be easy too. So as I said, run, I don't know where you'd go, but you gotta get out of here, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to control myself." 

Chaewon stepped forward and trapped Hyejoo in a hug, she didn't know what else to do, she didn't have anywhere to run to, and somehow, she still trusted Hyejoo. She didn't know how, or why, but she did. "Ch-Chae come on..." She still didn't quite know what to say but somehow managed words. "You need help, Hye." Chaewon said, squeezing Hyejoo's waist tighter. "Professional help, a-a hospital..." "I'd rather die." "But you won't even do it for me? I just want you back, I know what you said to Jiwoo, that can only happen if you get help. Please, I still love you, I always will, but you aren't safe, you need help."

"I-It's complicated." "How complicated is it? I want the old you back so badly, what happened to you? You were so kind, it didn't matter if you killed, whatever you did wasn't your fault, you didn't want to have done all those things, you did because you had to, where is she?" "She never existed." She felt the tiny girl in the arms begin to cry with that statement. "No! No! No! She must have! Who did I fall in love with? D-don't lie to me!" A slight pang of guilt struck her feeling Chaewon cry because of something she said, even if it was true.

"I-I want you back..." She said, "I know you love me too, if you really do, you'll get better for me, I know you tried to in the past, come on, Hye! Please, at least try." Hyejoo pondered it for a little bit, "You're right, I'll do anything to have you back, I'm so sorry." "Thank you!" She somehow knew that wouldn't happen though, she felt she wouldn't make it till that point. 

"I think we both need a nap," Chaewon said, tugging at Hyejoo's sleeve and removing the bottle from her hand, setting it back down. "Whatever you say," Hyejoo said, wiping all the thoughts from her brain and just following Chaewon blindly. She didn't want to think and just let herself shut down when she laid down. 

Chaewon curled up next to her, laying her head on Hyejoo's chest just like she did before. "I missed you," Hyejoo said after a pause. "I missed you too." "Really?" "Yeah." "Wow. I didn't really expect that." "Me neither." "I know we agreed to forget about it but I really am sorry I keep acting like this," "It's okay, as I said, I can't blame you for it." "Yeah." The boring dry conversation that ensued was the kind that forced both of them into sleep, even in the mid-day. At least they'd made amends of sorts. Just as soon as she felt her eyes close for the final time to sleep she heard the last the noise she expected. She was sure it was, it had to be, a gunshot.

"What the fuck? Did you hear that?" Hyejoo asked sitting up suddenly. "Ye-yeah." "Stay here, I'll go check it out." Hyejoo searched for her gun, realizing they'd taken it away knowing the state she was in. "Fuck it..." She mumbled, running through the house knowing the source was down the hall. She peeked into Yerim's room, no evidence of anything violent, just the pitiful state of her sister bedbound due to the mourning. She left quietly as not to disturb her, she then finally checked Sooyoung's room next to her own. 

She cracked open the door as the smell of iron met her nose. She was met with one of the most horrific sights she'd seen in her entire life. The pristine white sheets of Sooyoung's bed coated in copious amounts of blood, and Sooyoung's body laying in the middle of it, the gun clutched tightly in her hand and a hole in the middle of her forehead.

Her entire brain completely shut down upon seeing this, it seemed any emotions of a first reaction were all gone and she couldn't feel anything at all. She reached for the note by Sooyoung's dead body. Still not knowing what to feel, if anything. The first emotion she felt was guilt. She knew, somehow knew, that this was all her fault too. The note only furthered her idea. 

"I never lost the target on my back, I lost one of my daughters, lost the other one to mourning, lost the third to the illness of my own doing. I've failed my girls, and for that I am sorry, but that will never be enough. I will always love you three." 

Her hand crushed the note out of impulse, and now her feelings hit her like a freight train. She couldn't think of what to do, she had no way of seeing this coming, how did this even happen? It must have been her fault. It had to. That was truly how much of a detriment she was, she found some way to hurt everyone it seemed. Now before she could finish her thoughts her brain gave up trying to sort all of this out and her vision went black. 

An unknown amount of time later:

The lights shine on her closed eyelids, it was so irritating, whatever clothes they put her in itched, there was the ramble of people in the background, and all she wanted to do was sleep. But as soon as she begrudgingly opened her eyes she realized what had happened. This was not her bed, this was not Chaewon's bed, this was a hospital room, but a different kind. Cameras in every corner, white padded walls, two doctor-looking women in the corner, but before she could panic she saw Chaewon out of the corner of her eye, walking up to her and petting her face.

"I'm sorry, Hye, I know this is scary, but this is for your own good," Chaewon said soothingly, Hyejoo tried to sit up, to move at all, before realizing the clothes in question weren't traditional clothes at all, but a straight jacket that restricted any movement exactly. "O-oh god... Chae... What's happening?" "This is how you'll get better, this is how we'll have a future." "W-what n-no! I-I!" "Shh. You'll be okay, you're strong, life isn't easy, but things will get better." 

Hyejoo opened her mouth to speak but somehow ran out of ideas of anything to say. "I know you have a lot of questions, I'll let you get fully conscious before we do that. Although I'm not allowed here much longer." "Y-you're gonna leave me?!" "It's okay, I'll be back, I promise," Chaewon assured, planting a kiss on Hyejoo's nose, sitting down on the hospital bed, and waiting for Hyejoo to ask her something. "Wh-what happened to my family?" "They all got caught, they didn't long without Sooyoung." "O-oh my god! What happened to Jiwoo?!" "Nothing too bad, only about ten years in prison, she'll be out about the same time you will." "What about Yerim?" "Life sentence." "That means she's already dead." "What?" "If any of us ever got life in prison we'd do the death pledge." "Oh... I'm so sorry, Hye." 

"It doesn't matter..." Chaewon leaned down again and gave Hyejoo one last kiss, "I'll be back in a week to check on you, it may be longer next time, we'll see." While she was so happy to finally feel Chaewon's lips on hers, she was absolutely ruined watching her disappear behind the door. Now she was really alone. But this only meant she'd be happier later. At least she hoped.

The girl from the bank was the girl that chased her, now she'd do anything for her, the tables completely turned, that girl could complete her, but she also knew the destruction Chaewon could cause her. At least after all the hours she'd put in here, she'd have Chaewon for herself, and hopefully forever.


	19. Chapter 19

Warning! Dark shit lies ahead.

After 24 Hours:

This was perfect, for I was a predator and she was my prey, soon enough she'd forget where her body ended and mine began, of course, there'd always be a bit of convincing, or in this case, forcing. "You're mine, you have no right to leave me." I said to her, "You are mine." I reinforced the idea in her head. She needed to know. "Y-you cannot do this!..." She cried out through her tears, her tiny hands still trying to force me off her. "I-I loved you... Hyejoo why..." "Because you forgot who you belonged to."

The door opened and the daydream ended, at once Hyejoo's thoughts concluded. She felt nauseous now, but that's why she was here, so she'd get better, so these thoughts would leave her head. She frowned having buckles running across her torso and knees preventing her from leaving her current position, and bright red foam cubes with teeth marks on them in some desperate attempt to have them removed, limiting her hands' use. 

She'd grown tired of crying and had grown tired of feeling anything at this point, she didn't fight the serenity of the drugs they made her take anymore. That was the only time she didn't feel sick. And now it was time for a whole new kind of headache, the long interviews, the endless questions that seemed as if they'd never end. 

After 48 Hours:

All it was, was meds testing and interviews, all trying to fix the problem. She didn't hold back anymore, she told them everything they asked. The abuse, the need to kill, the nightmares, or daydreams depending on how you looked at it. Although the nightmares were new, they only dated back to when Chaewon told her she didn't love her anymore, well no, that wasn't true, they really started when she first said goodbye. Or were they always there? 

There was no escape for you now, maybe now you'll think twice the next time you decide I'm no good for you. You're such a foolish girl. There is no way I wouldn't find you. There is no way I would let you be. You should have no life without me just as I am without you. I'll do anything to have you, I told you anything, you had warning, run, foolish girl, run now.

After 334 Hours:

I think about you all the time, I hope you're okay, I hope the things I've said and done don't hurt you now. I try my best to be good, but I can't escape my mind, I can't escape those wicked desires, you know that. This is why it would have been better to have let me bleed out. It's hard thinking this way. But I can't stop, you know that too. Still, why haven't you run? If you hide I'll find you, if you fight back you'll lose, if you run you may escape before it's too late. Don't let me catch you.

After 2790 Hours:

I think the most painful thing about living in the hospital isn't the lack of privacy, it's the fact I can't see you often. I miss you, I really do, as I wrote prior I do hope you have no lasting effects from anything I've said or done. This is hard for you too, I know that.

After 17520 Hours:

She knew she'd never actually give Chaewon the letters, she just felt obliged to write them down. They only now let Hyejoo use her hands, it would have been earlier if only she didn't stab the pencil into her thigh in some desperate need to feel something. That's what she really needed, she was so sedated half that she could barely feel anything, she needed the pain to assure her she was human.

Was she though? Were the things she did and thought the actions of man? Or the action of a monster? Which one? She couldn't tell anymore, she was so exhausted, her brain was starting to block out those thoughts, but they were ever prevalent. There was no hiding that.

After 43800 Hours:

"Hyejoo..." She heard a familiar voice whisper, as another small body laid in the hospital bed beside her. She felt dirty being hugged by the person she dreamed of assaulting and abusing so frequently. "Hi, Chaewon." She said, remembering at once her real feelings for Chaewon that were pure, trying to drop all the sadistic awful needs to somehow avenge herself for how her parents treated her. That was easier than she'd like it to be though.

"You miss me?" She asked innocently, twirling a piece of her blonde hair around her finger. "Of course," Hyejoo replied dryly, enjoying the sight of the thing she wanted the most. "Aww yay!" She cheered smiling brightly, "They don't let me stay here long because I told them about the... Uh... Nevermind. Bye-bye, I'll miss you, Hye." She gave Hyejoo a quick kiss before yet another rushed set of I love you's before leaving. These visits never lasted long, but it felt better knowing Chaewon wasn't forgetting about her out there.

After 87604 Hours, it was all finally over:

It'd been so long, but Hyejoo was finally declared sane enough to not be a danger to society, meaning she and Chaewon could finally have the future they wanted. Chaewon was overjoyed to finally see Hyejoo after all this time she spent in the hospital. She prayed Hyejoo wouldn't have changed completely, usually in the times she visited Hyejoo was either asleep or heavily sedated. She could sneak in the room give her a kiss and make sure she was alright before disappearing once more. 

Chaewon herself had changed quite a lot, she was about thirty now, she had a house of her own, and she finally had a car and things. She'd grown emotionally too, she didn't feel as weak and vulnerable as she once did, her confidence was greater, and she felt that she'd improved as a whole. She couldn't even imagine what had happened to Hyejoo at this point. As her white flats clicked on the ground of the hospital, she was excited beyond anything she'd felt since the day before she met Hyejoo at the coffee shop. That kind of schoolgirl-crush attitude had awakened in her again. 

She hoped Hyejoo was just as excited as she was. Well, she knew Hyejoo would be, it'd be insane if she wasn't. She had to restrict herself from smiling, skipping through the halls, and hold back her tears of pure joy, she'd finally have the woman of her dreams, and finally, the woman of her dreams didn't want her to suffer.

Hyejoo was already sitting in the waiting room. She was signing some papers but she dropped the pen as soon as she saw Chaewon. She stood letting the pen clatter on the tile floor, she walked toward Chaewon quickly as Chaewon forgot all of her manners and ran toward her. It was like a scene from a movie, although that'd be one fucked up movie. They both were too excited to even express feelings now. 

"Aww Wonnie, don't cry." Hyejoo said, squeezing the tiny girl in the arms, "I-I can't help it! I'm so happy!" "I missed you baby." "You too!" When they pulled away from each other they could see how much healthier the other looked, Hyejoo didn't look sick, no dark circles under her eyes, her smile seemed more bright and genuine, no traceable hint of crazy in her eyes. And Chaewon as a whole seemed and looked more confident. 

"Can you carry me back to the car?" Chaewon asked innocently, "Of course. Although it may be more of a challenge, I'm not as strong as I used to be..." "Hmm?" Chaewon sounded questioningly poking Hyejoo's arm, unlike the last time she'd done that, her finger just sunk in, instead of touching muscle. "Aww, squishy!" She cooed, "You're not disappointed? I mean, I was never Mr. Universe, but still," "Nah, I don't care, as long as you feel healthy." "Well I'm free now, I don't think this will last." "Just don't work too hard," "I know, I know"

Hyejoo lifted Chaewon in her arms with a little difficulty, wrapping her arm under Chaewon's knees and one around her back. "You're gonna have to tell me which car is yours." "Ours." Chaewon corrected, "Really?" "Yeah! Of course, that's what you want right?" "Obviously," Hyejoo said, kissing Chaewon on the forehead. "I can't wait to show you the house, I went a little overbored while you were gone." "In what way?" "Every way." "Uh..." "You'll see." 

"There is our car." Chaewon pointed at the white Sudan parked in the parking lot. "Who's driving? Hopefully, you since I probably forgot by now." "Yeah, that's fine. I'll drive, and maybe I'll even grope your thigh and make you panic, you know, revenge." Chaewon said with a laugh, reminiscing of the old times they had. "Oh, you best not." Hyejoo scoffed, setting Chaewon down and opening the driver's seat door for her. Before sitting down in the car Chaewon wrapped her arms around Hyejoo's shoulders and gave her a kiss, nearly forgetting to prior.

"I missed you so much, Hye." "I missed you more." "No, I missed you more," "That's impossible, I missed you more," "God we're disgusting, let's just go." "Agreed." They both sat in the car and drove to a spot a little further away than Chaewon's old home was. The new one was small but quite nice looking, "Aww pretty..." Hyejoo said. A tiny one-story white house, with a little black metal fence that swirled around. The grass was a little overgrown, and tiny little dandelions peeked through the grass. 

"I'll show you around," Chaewon said as she parked the car in the driveway. "I'm so excited, I've been waiting for you to see for quite some time, I hope you like it," Chaewon said cheerfully grabbing Hyejoo's hand and leading her to the door and unlocking it with the key. "Welcome!" Chaewon cheered gleefully, practically hopping inside the house. Old wooden floors and flamboyant pastel pink floral wallpaper, a glass table, and two white painted wicker chairs sat on top of a fluffy white rug. 

"This is the dining room. Aaaand over here is the kitchen." Chaewon said leading Hyejoo through the house, showing her the slightly messy kitchen that looked relatively empty except for an opened pack of cookies on the counter. The whole house was dimmed by rose-colored curtains that painted the house interior pink, giving off a serene, peaceful feeling. "Hye! Do you want one?" Chaewon said sitting on the granite countertop opening the pack of cookies and handing Hyejoo one. "God damn it, you're so cute, and just everything about you and everything you do is just so cute, how do you even do it?" Hyejoo said in awe, taking the chocolate cookie from Chaewon's hand.

"Aww thank you! Oh and guess what?! You'll be so excited! I managed to get most of your stuff from Sooyoung's house, all of your clothes and stuff, I didn't bring the weapons, but you don't need those..." "Wait... You did?" "Yeah, come look!" Chaewon said leaping off the counter to a door just off the dining room. White walls, dark wooden floors, two white drawers, and a couple of boxes, other than that, the room was empty. "Woah..." "All your clothes are in the drawers, and other stuff is in those boxes. Oh and there is your guitar right there, I knew you'd want that." "Aww thanks, baby," Hyejoo said giving Chaewon a hug, realizing how deprived of human contact she was. 

"No problem at all, m- Hyejoo..." Hyejoo squinted at the small girl, "What did you almost call me?" "Nothing..." "Tell me." "N-no... It's embarrassing." Hyejoo laughed, "Chae, you have seen me at my absolute worst, there is nothing to be embarrassed about." "Uhhh... I'll just go show you the bedroom... Maybe later." Chaewon said with a nervous laugh. "Alright... But you remember what happens when we keep secrets from each other." "Th-this one can remain secret, trust me. Now, what are you waiting for, let's go." Chaewon said grabbing Hyejoo's hand and leading her out of the room.

This room looked nearly identical to Chaewon's room in her shared apartment. The same lilac satin bedding, stuffed animals, fluffy white rug under the bed, this room had no windows and was only lit with several fake candles on the bedside tables. Hyejoo laughed quietly, "isn't this romantic?" "I tried." Hyejoo eyed the slightly messy state of the room, the clothes on the floor, loose papers on the desk, the slight untidiness was comforting in a way, made it feel more like home, although something caught her attention. "Is that one of my shirts?" "Oh..." Chaewon giggled quietly. "Yeah, it is." "Why is it there?" "Because I wore it because it reminded me of you." Hyejoo smiled, her hands slowly grasping at the blonde's waist, "That's adorable." 

"Thanks!" She said happily, standing on her tippy toes so she could have another kiss. "I suppose you wanna, you know..." Hyejoo said awkwardly. "Why are you nervous? Aren't you supposed to be the confident one?" "I don't know..." "Well, you'll be glad to see the area I went a little overbored in." "Oh?" Still resting in Hyejoo's embrace her hand slipped in the top drawer of the bedside table, grabbing the pair of plastic-coated pastel purple handcuffs, and bestowing them to Hyejoo. "Good to know somebody hasn't changed at all," Hyejoo said humorously.

"Well, I'd like to say I changed quite a lot."


	20. Chapter 20

She'd been so sick for so long.

She thought she'd forgotten how love worked,

She was worried maybe her previous feelings of resentment and jealousy were what it really was. You love someone so much you want to bend them into your mold, to assure yourself they wouldn't leave. But no, certainly not, that's not love, that's possession. 

She'd been patient for so long.

So worried the person she waited for would not be the same.

She didn't want to lose Hyejoo even more than she already did, when Hyejoo confessed her inner thoughts, how she truly felt, she felt a piece of herself die. Who was that? And she didn't want to welcome just another stranger in her lover's body back into her life. She was too old to play those games now, she wasn't a child anymore, she wasn't blinded by love, she wasn't oblivious. 

"A-are you gonna let me go now?" Hyejoo asked, wondering why her wrists were still bound to the bed when it was certain all of their activities had long since came to an end. "Just a little longer, Hye." "Weirdo." "Insufferable brat." The blonde girl insulted back playfully. Hyejoo smirked, "At least have some mercy and cover me up with blankets or something instead of just staring. You've just been sitting at the foot of the bed for twenty minutes," "You have a lot of nerve to speak of mercy." "That's not exactly a fair comparison, I'm not used to this." 

"Just look at it as some sort of revenge." Hyejoo rolled her eyes. "But you can't blame me for looking." Chaewon began, "You do look pretty good like that." "You have a lot of nerve to speak of looking good while tied up, Chae," Hyejoo said humorously. "I swear, you make yourself laugh more than you ever have anyone else," "You've gotten so ornery. Can't handle a joke, princess?" "And you wonder why I gagged you throughout most of it." "Oh no, I understand, because your sense of humor is dryer than a fucking desert."

"I'm funny!" Chaewon defended, "You're funny when you're angry, you're so small and dainty, you're like a tiny dog, a lot more bark than bite." "What are you hoping to achieve by being so god damn annoying all of a sudden? I know you're doing this on purpose." "Huh, I don't know, just untie me so we can snuggle already. I'm getting cold." Hyejoo whined, "Oh fine, you win." Chaewon said, crawling awkwardly to the head of the bed and undoing the cuffs from the headboard. "Ugh finally," Hyejoo grumbled, sitting up and rubbing her wrists. "Come here, princess." "Are you sure we haaaave to go to bed?" Chaewon said pouting, "I miss youu~" 

"What do you want to do exactly?" Hyejoo asked, accepting the smaller girl into her embrace and wiggling under the lilac satin quilted comforter. "I just wanna talk, I mean... it's been forever." "Oh certainly, what about?" "Well, I definitely don't want to talk about anything before today, it'd be pointless to talk about today, how about the future? What do we do then?" "Ahh, this discussion, I've been dreaming about this for a while." 

"Well, I think we're on the same page on what we're discussing. Marriage, kids?" "Oh dear, yeah... Of course, I want to marry you, Chae. The second... Scares me. Y-you know what happened to me, I-I don't know... It feels weird. You know?" Hyejoo informed, sniffling slightly, cursing herself for crying. "Oh... Hye," Chaewon said holding the black-haired girl tighter, "I totally get it if you don't want to, if it's weird, or maybe we can wait, whatever makes you comfortable." Chaewon said. "Do you want to?" Hyejoo asked, rubbing her eyes. 

"Yes, I do. But it's your decision." The blonde said grabbing a couple of Hyejoo's fingers in her hand. "Maybe we should get a cat first," Hyejoo said with a laugh, "And I mean, why not start coming up with names, now?" "If you're saying that just to make me happy, I will slap you. You know that." "I promise I'm not. I uh... I have something to tell you too." "Yeah?" "You probably aren't gonna believe at first, but I don't care." "Tell me." "Sooyoung left everything to me, Yerim, and Heejin. But since I was hospitalized and Yerim and Heejin are gone, I um... Kinda get everything?" 

"WHAT?" Chaewon shrieked, realizing what that meant. "You-you get all the money?" Chaewon asked, sitting up and looking at Hyejoo's face only lit by the streetlight coming in through the blinds. "Yeah, I do," "S-so we're rich?" "Yep." "Holy shit... What do we even do with it?" "I say hoard it, use it buy a nice house and whatnot, then leave it for our kids I guess." "Awww," Chaewon said, laying back down on Hyejoo's chest, blushing profusely all of a sudden. "I mean, it's blood money, but who cares. I get the house too, but imma burn that bitch to the ground, never want to step foot in that place ever again." 

"I don't blame you," Chaewon paused, "You want some leftover spaghetti?" She asked, "It's like 3 am, Chae." "Still. Do you?" "I-I guess? I'm cold I don't want to get up though," "I can make it for you," "But I wanna come with you." "Alright then, I don't know what to do then." "Stay here." "But I'm hungry." "At least until I fall asleep." "Fine." Chaewon whined, clinging to Hyejoo like a vice, feeling like she'd just dissolve into Hyejoo's warmth. 

"So..." Hyejoo began, "What were you about to call me again?" Chaewon scowled at Hyejoo for bringing up that event again. "I... I don't know, I don't remember." Hyejoo rolled her eyes, "We both know, I just want you to say it again." "M-Mommy..." Chaewon said covering her face with her sleeves. Hyejoo scoffed, "I-I know it's weird..." "You seriously think everything we've done is less weird than that? I had a gun to your head, you think I'd object to that?" 

"Oh. well..." "It's cute, that's what I think." "You say that about everything I do." "It's accurate. Look at you." Hyejoo replied, allowing Chaewon to snuggle against her. It didn't seem like Chaewon would be getting her desired late-night pasta as she fell asleep mere seconds later. Hyejoo took the opportunity to kiss the top of Chaewon's head as she closed her eyes and pressed her face into Chaewon's soft hair.


	21. Chapter 21

_His footsteps could be heard, "she told me it was okay", but they were getting closer, and they didn't seem too light. "Please don't be too harsh, your problems aren't her fault." She could hear her mother plead from behind the door, only to be struck. Could she hide? Should she hide? The door would be opened any second, and she was certainly not ready. She pleaded to nobody that she'd be knocked unconscious before any real damage could be done. She stared at her knees, pressing herself against the wall. The knife was in her hands, all she had to do was gain enough courage and aim. "Go talk to her." She heard her father say. The door was opened by her mother, to find her daughter frantically hide something under her pillow. "Sweetie..." She began, covering her bruised cheek from the view of the young girl. "It's going to be okay, you know he doesn't mean it, he just gets mad sometimes, maybe someday you'll learn to appreciate it. He only hurts you because he cares." Hyejoo scowled at her mother, feeling stupid for previously believing this kind of stuff. "W-we both know that's not true." She said, nearly inaudible, "W-we both know it's a matter of time before he beats us to death, mom." She informed pitifully. "I'm sorry you feel that way, my dear."_

_The doorknob was turned. A foot stepped inside the room. He looked serious, an expression unable to be read, the bottle was in his hand, as usual, and now was the time to see if she was truly ready to be free. "Stand up." He commanded angrily, dropping the bottle to the floor with a lazy hand, to which Hyejoo stood automatically while sliding the knife from under the pillow and hiding it under her sleeve. "You and your mother never cease to disappoint me, this time especially, I came in here, you both were up here, neither of you did anything for me, ANYTHING, and I work all day to support you two, just so you can just sit around and be lazy..." "D-don't blame her, sh-she was late getting home, she got detention." Her mother tried to defend. "You what?" He asked, getting angrier and angrier by the second, the scent of alcohol on his breath as he got closer. "Why did you get detention?" He inquired sternly. "I-I... I threatened to stab someone..." She answered shyly. "You fucking freak, this is why I'm ashamed of you, you act like a fucking serial killer." That thought threatened to bring a smile to her lips, little did she know that's exactly what her future told. "I will be." She said quietly. "You what?" "I will be a killer, and you want to know why?" "Watch the tone, bitch." "I asked you something." She pressed, getting braver and braver by the second. He looked like he'd snapped at this point, grabbing her by the throat and pushing her against the wall. "WHAT GAVE YOU THE IDEA YOU COULD TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?" "Joohyun calm down..." Her mother said in an obviously false request to maintain her daughter's trust. "What gave you the idea you could treat me like this? Hmm?" She clenched the knife in her hand like it'd dematerialize if she let go, not letting the continuous punches to her ribcage deter her grip. "Y-you will never hurt me again..." "And what gives you that impression?" She exhaled, bringing the knife up, and driving it into his stomach. It all happened in a moment, his scream, her mother's scream, Hyejoo continuously driving the knife upwards and upwards, seemingly hollowing him out. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" She screamed, "YOU DID THIS? TELL ME, FUCKER, HOW DOES IT FEEL?"_

_He was unable to respond and only collapsed on the floor, blood spewing from his mouth like a red fountain. He looked as good as dead. She smirked at the corpse, spitting down on him to prove her point. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She yelled at her mother fiddling for the phone, smacking it from her mother's hand, and grabbing her by the shirt collar. "Hyejoo! Sweetie! What are you doing? Y-you..." It was like she could feed off the fear. "You know exactly what I'm doing. Did you seriously think after all you two did I wouldn't snap one day? You let him do about just everything under the sun to me and you didn't even care, what kind of mother are you?" "Hyejoo, he's your father! We need to get him help!" "You don't love him! He doesn't love you! He doesn't love either of us! How could you not see that? You should have protected me!" "I-I couldn't... Hyejoo baby, I'm sorry!" Now they were both crying, "Sorry? You're sorry? How the fuck am I supposed to forgive you?" "J-just please, Hye-Hyejoo, I-I won't call the police... We can just hide here." Hyejoo's gaze fell, the rage that boiled deep within simmered down to a painful desolate feeling. She threw herself in the arms of her mother, who welcomed her into the hug. "I-I'm so sorry... But I-I think we're passed that, mommy." She said remorsefully, plunging the knife into the back of her mother, causing her to fall limp in Hyejoo's arms. "I-I'm sorry..." Her mother croaked, "Do you regret it now?" "Y-yes... Every second of it... I love you, Hyejoo, you'll always be my baby girl." Hyejoo let her fall to the floor, keeping the knife lodged in her back. "Well that's too damn bad, ain't it?" She said to the body, as she moved to walk out of the room, adding one kick to the skull of her dead father and proceeding to run from the building._

"Mommy? Are you okay?" She heard a high pitched voice, concerned in tone. "Y-yeah I'm okay." Hyejoo replied groggily as she woke up, shaking herself from the nightmare and wiping the tears from her eyes. She quickly realized that no matter how many years, thirty-two in counting, those memories would never leave her. She smiled at the child, she'd thought that Chaewon was the most beautiful girl in the world, but alas, that was simply not true, that title belonged to Son Heejin. Heejin was named after Hyejoo's long-gone sister, of course, she was somebody who was always there for her, someone who practically died for her, it was only natural to name her daughter after her. "What happened?" Heejin asked, clutching Hyejoo tighter in an attempt to make her mother feel better. "Oh, just a nightmare." "Oh okay," Hyejoo used her free hand to pet her daughter's hair, her other hand was being clung to by her wife, who was fast asleep at the moment. "And mommy doesn't get nightmares?" Heejin asked about Chaewon. "No, fortunately, she sleeps pretty peacefully. Let's just hope they aren't hereditary." "What does that mean?" "Hereditary?" "Yeah." "It means passed on by generations or something like that, like how I have black hair, and you have black hair, or how your mom is super pretty, and you're super pretty." "Oh alright, I think you're pretty too, mommy." Hyejoo smiled, "Thanks," she replied sweetly, planting a kiss on her daughter's head, then one on top of Chaewon's. "Now, let's go back to sleep, mom is only not a peaceful sleeper when we're loud." "Can you sing me something?" "Oh, I don't know, I don't want your mom to wake up." "Pleaaaaase." "Oh fine." "Trudging slowly over wet sand~ Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen~ In this coastal town, that they forgot to close down, armageddon, come, armageddon, come~ Every day is like Sunday~ Every day is silent and grey~" In a moment, Heejin was fast asleep. Hyejoo smiled, holding both of her girls close to her, she couldn't have asked for something better. She never could have imagined she'd have this one day, she thought for sure she was destined to die young, if not by her own hand than in work, nobody ever said assassin was a safe job. She had no idea what she'd tell Heejin about her past, no idea how to explain certain scars, no idea how to explain the PTSD, but she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.

There was a lot she'd have to explain to Heejin she didn't want to, but the one thing she was 100% sure of, was that Heejin would never experience any of what she has, and she'll do anything to make sure of that. That morning she woke to her wife poking her face gently. "Morning, Hye," She said, wrapping her arms around Hyejoo's waist. Their new house was a lot bigger, hard to raise a kid in such a small house, even if Chaewon's house was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. "Morning... Wait, is it even morning?" "Nope, I let you sleep in. Do you want me to make you breakfast?" "Maybe... But when do I ever get the opportunity to do something nice for you?" "You think about things too much, Hye. Doing nice things isn't a competition, I'm not weird like that." "Okay, well..." "I mean if you really wanted to do something nice for me, you know, Heejin's at school..." "Oh jeez, okay. At least give me ten minutes to brush my teeth and stuff, and another ten minutes to cuddle first..." Hyejoo said groggily. "Oh fine," Chaewon replied, as Hyejoo sat up. "Come here, pretty girl." Hyejoo said, grabbing Chaewon and hugging her close, so soft and warm and pleasant it was to hold her wife against her, and how good it felt to make Chaewon feel protected in her arms. "I love you so much." Chaewon said, hiding her face in Hyejoo's neck, "I love you too, princess." she said, moving her hands to Chaewon's waist and pinching her stomach. "You wanna watch the kitten show?" Hyejoo asked, patting Chaewons butt with her hands. "Yeah." "Go get the laptop then." "Carry me." The blonde demanded, "Hold on tight," Hyejoo said sitting up and making Chaewon wrap her arms and legs tightly around her body. Chaewon grabbed the laptop and then let Hyejoo carry her back to the bed. She set her wife down watching her snuggle in the blankets once more, prompting Hyejoo to join her. "We need cats." Chaewon said, "Do we now? We can barely keep track of a child, how are we gonna have cats too?" "I don't know, things happen." "That's true," Hyejoo said melting into the embrace of the smaller girl who didn't seem to grow at all over the years, she basically looked the exact same she did before. Still small, still beautiful, she was bound to forever perfection it seemed. Hyejoo was still as infatuated as she was on day one, and that feeling didn't seem to fade. Same for the confusion she had as to why someone like Chaewon would like her back, after all, she was an ex-serial killer, right? And all the drinking and stress of her earlier life aged her quite a bit. But of course, Chaewon being Chaewon, found that attractive. "Kiss." Chaewon demanded, always getting her way. Chaewon seemed to be the only thing to soften the severity of Hyejoo's eyes, and seemed to be the only thing to soften her in general, she was a different person now, and could not be happier in this new skin.


End file.
